Thursday, May 3, 2012

What We're Reading

Compiled by the editors of HoseMaster of Wine

DR. VINO:  Check out this week’s impossible food-wine pairing—crow! Dr. Vino eats a lot of that, and wonders what wine would best accompany it. First guy to say Ravenswood becomes the next impossible food-wine pairing—human prairie oysters. Pretty sure Leslie Sbrocco knows what pairs with those pairs. In another post, Dr. Vino investigates wine labels. “They just don’t come off in hot water any more. Can the glue be good for the environment? Are our children being poisoned by big corporate wineries?
Can I drum up another fake controversy?” If you can’t, who can?

WINE ENTHUSIAST:  Paul Gregutt writes about the unheralded star of Washington wines—Paul Gregutt. Steve Heimoff has an interesting feature on the “Hairiest Winemakers in California” and bemoans the fact that not enough of them are men. Virginie Boone talks to readers about the importance of vineyards in “Oooh, They’re So Pretty.” And Roger Voss wanders around the Loire Valley because he’s too proud to ask for directions.

CONNOISSEURS’ GUIDE: Editor Charles Olken predicts what’s ahead in wine in the coming year. “More wineries will send me samples, sommeliers will be headed for the unemployment line, and Jon Bonné will marry a chimpanzee.” Co-editor Stephen Eliot writes a haunting piece that wonders why Charlie is planning to move the apostrophe back a space.

WALL STREET JOURNAL:  Jay McInerney is invited to a hundred-year vertical of Chateau d’Yquem by Justin Bieber and wonders which one is sweeter in the mouth. And don’t miss Lettie Teague’s assessment of the 2009 vintage in Bordeaux, “Great vintage, but I prefer Cabernet.”

PALATE PRESS:  Palate Press is the “My Weekly Reader” for wine bloggers. Check out the fascinating feature on Malbec in “How Many Words Can You Make from ‘Malbec?’” Clam…Came…Blame…Beam…LAME… In “Wine Conversations,” there’s an interview with the Robert Mondavi winery dog, Poopus One, that will leave you howling. And, finally, the ultimate guide to being a successful wine blog, “Write Really Fast.”

eROBERT PARKER:  The investigative report is in, and Dr. of Love Jay Miller is exonerated. Yes, some money changed hands, Robert Parker writes, but Miller was inflating scores long before that; and Spanish wineries weren’t promised access to Miller, they were only promised access to Miller LITES! Simple mix-up it only takes 3000 pages to explain. And Antonio Galloni talks about dumping on Parker’s California cult wines and creating his own. “I don’t hand out 100 point scores like they’re condoms in Africa. When I hand out 100 point scores they mean something. Power. I’m the new Pope, Baby! I speak for God.”

WINE SPECTATOR:  “Wines are tasted completely blind when reviewed by Wine Spectator critics,” says publisher Marvin Shanken in a hard-hitting editorial, “it’s those damned ad sales people that screw with the scores.” The new Grand Awards for restaurant wine lists are announced—the crappy one at Greystone is nowhere to be seen. Tim Fish on his love affair with winery logo polo shirts.

NEW YORK TIMES:  The New York Times tasting panel rates Chinese wines in honor of Jeremy Lin. The result? Read “Knicks and Nix—both Overrated.” Eric Asimov visits rich people that own wineries. “They just smell better.”

PLAYBOY:  Wine columnist for 1WineDoody lists his favorite jug wines. 


Samantha Dugan said...

You make me giggle. Okay the My Weekly Reader bit made me snort...I love you!

Mockingbird said...

"planning to move the apostrophe back a space"

o, that's commedy....

John Cesano said...

What does a wine with a 899,999 rating on the HSM million point scale taste like?


Another HSM post, another bunch of laughs. Thanks.

Ron Washam, HMW said...

My Gorgeous Samantha,

Nothing I like more than making you giggle. And what's better than a good morning snort? Ask Charlie Sheen.


Nothing more pleasing than grammar jokes. Did you mean "comma-dy?"


That's HMW post. HSM is a dyslexic's Pinafore.

Mockingbird said...


Thomas said...

Whew. I was away for a week and afraid that 'Id never catch up on my reading. Just when I was wondering whether or not I coul'dve bypassed the backlog and remain as ill-informed as ever, your brief sin-opus came through.

Ron Washam, HMW said...


Ah, if only my synopsis could do justice to the scintillating wine writing going on in the blogosphere. I fear I simply cannot capture the brilliance, merely reflect it.

I do what I can...

Thomas said...


I cou'ldve (or could of, as far too many people erroneously write) gone directly to the sources but that woul'dve (would of?) made my brain die.

BTW: I like the new apostrophe placement. As 'Ive had to determine where to put the thing my brain has'nt atrophied from having been apostrophied.

Apostrophe Daddy said...

I'm here in France on the trail of the SOB who first renamed the Cs'GCW stars as puffs.

And what happens when I am away? Someone tries to rename the whole damn publication as C'sGCW.

I doubt it was Steve as he knows that we like to think we have more than one subscriber and thus Cs'GCW.

As for Jon Bonnes love life, as long as he is the darling of Gialla Ribola set, he will always have plenty of chimpanzees following him around. Lemmings too.

Samantha Dugan said...

You crack my ass up. So if Jon's readers are lemmings, what does that make yours? Just curious....

John Cesano said...

Wow, I know it is HMW, not HSM, and hope I'm experiencing dyslexia not a more permanent early onset word scramble.

Anonymous said...

Sam, clearly it would be "lemming." You know, singular.

Thanks for catching me up,'ve saved me a few minutes and probably more than a few brain cells.


Etoile Daddy said...

<< Charlie,
You crack my ass up. So if Jon's readers are lemmings, what does that make yours? Just curious.... >>


Samantha Dugan said...

Stars, navels, same difference. I adore you and hope you had a great time in France!