Monday, August 27, 2012
The Business of Wine, World of Wine Museum
Hello, and welcome to Business of Wine, World of Wine Museum, located at the former COPIA. We hope you enjoy your visit to BoWWoW. This guide is intended to highlight both our permanent collection as well as our ever-changing special exhibitions, lectures and tastings. BoWWoW is a place where novices and connoisseurs alike can gather to learn about and share everything wine. A portion of your admission is contributed to MADD, just because we like to fuck with them.
Highlights of the Permanent Collection
Here at BoWWoW we have collected some of the best and most famous scores in wine history. Many people have read these scores in various wine publications, but haven’t the slightest idea what they mean or what they look like. Just like being a wine critic! Over the years our curators have managed to obtain many of these scores and they are available for you to view in the exhibit hall to your left. Perhaps the most famous score is 100, a perfect score. It’s here! It may not look like much, but consider the prestige and monetary value that 100 represents. It’s traveled the world, from Bordeaux to Burgundy, from Piedmont to Tuscany, from Spain to Portugal, spreading riches wherever it goes. But notice that if you look at it even the tiniest bit askance, it disappears! All you have to do is walk around it, view it from every angle, and, poof, it no longer exists, it is strictly an illusion. Contributed by Screaming Eagle, which will never see it again, it’s a must-see for every wine lover. And don’t forget to catch a rare glimpse of 89. It’s over by the Wailing Wall. And we also have the 91, once important, but now without any value. History has left 91 behind, sort of like Clive Coates. Finally, make sure and view the antiquated and now-abandoned 20 Point Scale. Once a working scale, it was given to BoWWoW by Decanter Magazine who declared it “old, rundown and useless as Lady Camilla.”
Hall of Aromas
Ever wondered what the great wines of the world smell like? Spend some time in the Hall of Aromas and you’ll discover the olfactory joys of many famous wine varieties. Begin with the brief video introduction by James Laube, which will prepare you for your first olfactory experience, ammonium carbonate. Over there is Riesling (presented by BP), the grape responsible for the great German wines, if there were any. Don’t miss Chardonnay! Ever wonder what Chardonnay smells like naked? Then take your damn clothes off and find out (sponsored by Girls Gone Wild—“Feel like flashin’?, We can cash in!”™). Wander over to Grüner Veltliner, the grape responsible for the wines of Austria, the country that gave us Rudolf Steiner (Austria’s slogan? “Americans will buy the stupidest shit.”), and take a deep breath. What is that? It’s either Grüner, or a vegan farted next to you (sponsored by Hole Foods—no, there is no “W”). When you’re finished with the white varieties (try something new, like Savagnin, it smells like sommeliers), move on to the reds. Start with Pinot Noir. Ever wonder what a great Burgundy smells like? Ha, we tricked you! This is a fake. It’s old Beaujolais mixed with Gallo Hearty Burgundy (sponsored by Acker Merrill). No mistaking the smell of Malbec! Take a deep breath, that’s the smell of MegaPurple, Argentinian marketing and easy money (sponsored by Paul Hobbs). There are lots of nasal adventures waiting for you in our famous Hall of Aromas. And don’t miss the special exhibit running through September, “Brettanomyces!” You’ll recognize many of the world’s great wines there. It’s not in the Hall of Aromas, it’s located in the Aroma of Hall Closets.
Guest Lectures at BoWWoW in September
James Suckling “Career Suicide,” A Discussion with Jay Miller and the editorial staff of Zester Daily. Special appearance by the HoseMaster of Wine.
Michel Rolland “All My Wines Taste the Same: Finding the Kenny G-Spot for Cabernet”
Alice Feiring “Beating a Dead Horse—Good for Book Sales”
Charles Olken “They’re not Puffs, Goddamit”
Nicolas Joly “Just call me Dr. Frank and Steiner: BioD and Brain Theft for Zombies” A discussion with Stu Smith, Mary Ewing-Mulligan and moderator Tawny Kitaen. That’s right, it’s Joly with MulliganTawny Stu.
Angelo Gaja “Hey, That’s Me Behind Barbaresco, and the Podium”
And don’t miss our upcoming October Special Exhibition, “Great Wine Bloggers of the 21st Century” to be held in the Vineyard Workers Memorial Port-a-Potty, located in the South Parking Lot. Be sure to leave a contribution.