Monday, November 21, 2016

Flying the Friendly Skies


Here’s what I’ve been feeling the past few weeks.

We were on this large jet flying to somewhere beautiful, some sort of Paradise, we thought, when it was hijacked and now it’s headed toward a skyscraper. We had no idea there were even hijackers aboard, though we should have known, they’d been making a lot of noise back here in economy class. We certainly didn’t think they could overpower us, take over the plane and fly it into a building. If I’d known the pilot had orange hair, I’d have stayed at the airport. My mother always told me, “Never get on a plane with a pilot with orange hair. Nothing good can come of it.” What’s odd is that the hijackers seem exuberant about going down with us in a burst of inescapable flames. It will take years to clean up the wreckage.



The rest of this week's sermon appears on Wine Journal over at the Wine Advocate site. The rest of the piece wanders about quite a bit, going from Asimov to Kermit the Lynch, and lands on a heartfelt wish that all of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

You can't leave comments there, but I'd love to hear your feedback here. Everywhere I go, friends, people remark that the best part of HoseMaster of Wine™ is the Comments Section. Oh, they're just flattering me, but it's true. Thank you, Common Taters, one and all.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

WINE ADVOCATE'S WINE JOURNAL

11 comments:

Bob Henry said...

"I’ve never met a wine that was alive."

Just wait until one of those unfiltered "natural" wines with living yeast cells inside, consuming residual sugar and creating carbon dioxide as a byproduct, "goes off" on you by popping its cork.

That will be a lively event . . .

Samantha Dugan said...

Ron My Love,

Disjanuary made me hork a piece of cucumber up my nasal passage. Not going to say I needed that, but I found some peace and calm here in this piece. I haven't been able to enjoy Champagne since election night, got a sold out crowd coming for Champagne and fried chicken this Friday night, I'm sure ready for something beautiful again...
I love you!

Paul T. Gilmore said...

Have to agree with Samantha. I always find something in your pieces that makes me laugh and that was it. No cucumber, though, thank goodness.

Ron Washam, HMW said...

Bob,
Isn't that sort of the same process that makes dead bodies float? Or is that by adding ice cream?

My Gorgeous Samantha,
The election was a nasty and bitter pill. I'm certain that your beloved Champagne will eventually heal you, bring some beauty back to your life.

I love you, too, Baby

Paul,
Thank you! Kind words. And no nasal cukes is a good thing.

Bob Henry said...

Floating dead bodies?

You are undoubtedly thinking of "IGnoble rot."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3071037/The-smell-death-Scientist-reveals-bacteria-creates-heady-mixture-scents-rips-apart-rotting-flesh.html

Maybe professor emeritus Ann IGNoble can devise an aroma wheel?

(And you thought Halloween was over . . .?)

Vin de Terre said...

Pinotage smells like ass fault.

Samantha Dugan said...

Vin de Terre,

I have a line that my staff will never let me forget I said, "I would rather drink a magnum of fartwater than finish this glass of Pinotage"....still true.

Daniel said...

I tell people that Pinotage tastes like wine with meat floating in it...and not it a good way.

HMW, love the analogy of Petite Sirah as an avalanche. I like to associate wine with music, as in what you want on a Saturday night is not what you want on a Tuesday afternoon. So PS is more like speed metal.

Happy T-Day to all. Drink the wine that is open!

susan wu said...

I read Eric's piece. Is it he has to bite his tongue because he was once the mouth & tongue of IPOB at the mainstream media? Funny that someone like him who writes very well can't define "natural" wine.

I understand there's alway movement in every business, but Eric and other folks seemed to believe they were once creating a new genre in wine business. When it reaches its decrepitude, he still holds his head high and claims it's alive. Maybe he's right about the word "alive": Being moribund is being alive.

HoseMaster writes so beautifully. Again, it's witty, insightful and original. Thanksgiving time is around the corner so I want to take the opportunity to thank you. Thank you for sending so many enjoyable pieces and keeping us smart.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Ron Washam, HMW said...

My Gorgeous Samantha,
I haven't seen "fartwater" used for a while. Made me laugh. Made me think of Boner in a Can, for some twisted reason.

Ah, the Classics!

I love you!

Ron Washam, HMW said...

Vin,
Say it taint so!

Daniel,
There are lots of folks who love Petite Sirah. I'm not one of them. Though I am grateful for its contributions to great Zinfandels. And I have no idea what speed metal sounds like, for which I am also grateful.

Susan Darling,
I was surprised to read Eric's assertion that not having a definition is one of natural wine's strengths. I think I know what he means, but that's lazy thinking. And not like him.

Are natural wines better than other wines because they're natural? More complex, more interesting, more ALIVE!!!! (I hear Dr. Frankenstein every time I read that). Has a natural wine advocate ever done a blind tasting and been able to pick out the natural wines as superior? I doubt it. I don't mind people loving natural wines, but I do mind faulty logic and utter bullshit.

You're far too kind, Susan. Thank you for your kind words, and for being such a loyal and insightful common tater. Folks like you keep me going. And Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!