tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post1989699821488719645..comments2024-02-25T02:50:53.858-08:00Comments on HoseMaster of Wine™: Wineries Need to Jump On the AntiSocial Media Band WagonRon Washam, HMWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-7376202871531353752012-06-22T12:10:48.850-07:002012-06-22T12:10:48.850-07:00I got a little behind on my reading, so just finis...I got a little behind on my reading, so just finished this and noticed that no one mentioned Casper's white "sheet hole" . . . unless that's what inspired the "Assbook" idea. In any case, it gives me a good idea for this year's Halloween costume. Thanks, Ron!Artnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-85287713375289679102012-05-27T06:09:57.887-07:002012-05-27T06:09:57.887-07:00LOLz I'm so totally ROTFFLMAO that I need to r...LOLz I'm so totally ROTFFLMAO that I need to rt this & totally share on all my social medias dude!!!!1WineDoodyhttp://www.1winedude.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-21416378148762432932012-05-25T17:17:03.470-07:002012-05-25T17:17:03.470-07:00Honorable Master of Hoses,
According to the lates...Honorable Master of Hoses,<br /><br />According to the latest Andy Borowitz report your ASSMAN (anti social shitty media and news) campaign has succeeded in bringing down Zuckerberg.<br /><br />A Message about Facebook<br />From Founder Mark Zuckerberg<br />May 25, 2012<br /><br />MENLO PARK, CA (The Borowitz Report) – The following letter to Facebook users was issued today by Facebook founder and CEO, Mark Zuckerberg:<br /><br />Dear Facebook User,<br /><br />Hi, it’s Mark.<br /><br />As you may have heard, our IPO last week didn’t go quite as well as expected. How badly did it go, exactly? If you live in a major city, you’ve probably seen homeless guys huddled around bonfires of Facebook stock. More ominously, I just received a call from my attorney telling me that I probably didn’t need a prenup after all.<br /><br />If you’re a Facebook investor, you already know what this means: it sucks to be you. But what if you’re one of the billion Facebook users in the world? Well, it also sucks to be you, because I am writing to you now to ask for your financial support to help save Facebook.<br /><br />It's only fair. Since its founding in 2004, Facebook has totally revolutionized the way you waste your life. Without it, you would find yourself in the unpleasant and awkward position of having to speak to your family. And so, to keep Facebook alive, I am instituting the following new usage charges:<br /><br />-- $1 per poke<br /><br />-- $5 for every ex you crop out of a profile picture<br /><br />-- $10 for every time you stalk someone from high school, college, or job you were fired from because of that HR “incident”<br /><br />-- $15 for every “friend” you have never met (no charge for friends you know, if any)<br /><br />-- $20 for every sheep, bird, or the Scrabble letters Z, X or Q<br /><br />With your financial help, Facebook should be around for many years to come, providing you with hours upon hours of pointless and isolating activity. Without your help? I’ve just got one word for you: Friendster.<br /><br />Help me,<br /><br />MarkDave (aka BiPolar Bear)noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-9680368220849735342012-05-24T07:57:15.671-07:002012-05-24T07:57:15.671-07:00So Hosemaster does lines!
That explains it.So Hosemaster does lines!<br /><br />That explains it.Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07322028233207741737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-44375042554330616882012-05-23T18:49:09.711-07:002012-05-23T18:49:09.711-07:00Dave,
I'm not exactly sure what line you'...Dave,<br /><br />I'm not exactly sure what line you're referring to, but the essence of satire is to walk right up to those lines, put your toes on them, threaten to cross them, make everyone anxious and angry, then not quite cross them.<br /><br />And, yet, the real point is to evoke laughter at the human condition. So if I made you laugh a bit, then I've succeeded.Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-22784412437803207232012-05-23T18:22:36.531-07:002012-05-23T18:22:36.531-07:00Hosemaster, You really came close to the line this...Hosemaster, You really came close to the line this time but guess that's why its so funny. I'd add to the thread of humor if I could but thanks for making me laugh.Dave Larsenhttp://www.sooscreekwine.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-74189512725017420932012-05-23T15:56:27.070-07:002012-05-23T15:56:27.070-07:00Thank you for the huge belly laugh - replaced '...Thank you for the huge belly laugh - replaced 'wine' with 'tourism' and article was just as relevant for our industry.WhitsundaysOnline.Nethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15982978888647855079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-262536895928578062012-05-23T11:37:41.189-07:002012-05-23T11:37:41.189-07:00STEVE!
And that's three more than I have in r...STEVE!<br /><br />And that's three more than I have in real life...<br /><br />And on FakeBook I'm one of America's Top Wine Bloggers! Right behind Rudy Kurniawan, the King of FakeBook!<br /><br />My Gorgeous Samantha,<br /><br />When do I start? Do I have to pass an entrance exam?Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-61458564645013504902012-05-23T11:22:57.249-07:002012-05-23T11:22:57.249-07:00Face it, Hosie, you're just jealous because yo...Face it, Hosie, you're just jealous because you have ZERO FakeBook friends!Steve Heimoffhttp://steveheimoff.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-43758337606087341062012-05-23T11:16:13.173-07:002012-05-23T11:16:13.173-07:00Oh, I've got a job for you....Oh, I've got a job for you....Samantha Duganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05214278596698698245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-80638334656293344252012-05-23T11:09:14.646-07:002012-05-23T11:09:14.646-07:00Puff Daddy,
Social media is just another word for...Puff Daddy,<br /><br />Social media is just another word for blather. I'd blather blog.<br /><br />I was thinking maybe FakeBook might be the name for Vornography's Blog Roll.<br /><br />Brad,<br /><br />The only thing worse for you in the morning than coffee is the HoseMaster.<br /><br />My Gorgeous Samantha,<br /><br />SOMEBODY ought to hire me...Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-31775895857780976602012-05-23T08:41:20.897-07:002012-05-23T08:41:20.897-07:00I'm starting to think that companies that manu...I'm starting to think that companies that manufacture computer monitors ought to hire you Ron...Samantha Duganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05214278596698698245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-42034690267436826942012-05-23T08:37:01.604-07:002012-05-23T08:37:01.604-07:00Your "Marelot" phrase made me spit out m...Your "Marelot" phrase made me spit out my morning coffee laughing.Brad Davishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10246512019315011176noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-71658238562701700602012-05-22T18:56:38.198-07:002012-05-22T18:56:38.198-07:00I never did get Facebook. I tried Twitter and can&...I never did get Facebook. I tried Twitter and can't stand the useless chatter.<br /><br />Social media has failed. <br /><br />The old-fashioned, topical bulletin boards had much more content than FB or Tw.<br /><br />However, I do see a big future of Fakebook. We can start it here, lure in all the assholes and then let them play in their own muck and mire.<br /><br />Oops, they are already gathering over on Squealer. There is a contest running there now to decide whether Squealer's nickname ought to be PigPen or BarnYard. Apparently "Raging Brettanomyces" is already taken.Whose Tweeting Now Daddy?noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-72667310461258604432012-05-22T07:04:13.352-07:002012-05-22T07:04:13.352-07:00Sam,
You should be sad that you aren't one of...Sam,<br /><br />You should be sad that you aren't one of his Bigassbuddies. <br /><br />Those people receive in-depth consideration.Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07322028233207741737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-22153142095527192832012-05-21T22:44:47.185-07:002012-05-21T22:44:47.185-07:00Yeah, I kinda thought I was already one of Ron'...Yeah, I kinda thought I was already one of Ron's assbuddies.Samantha Duganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05214278596698698245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-41927203057042845992012-05-21T22:11:09.943-07:002012-05-21T22:11:09.943-07:00G.K.,
FaceBook has begun to make the word "f...G.K.,<br /><br />FaceBook has begun to make the word "friend" meaningless. Much like Parker has done to "hedonistic."<br /><br />Thomas,<br /><br />AssBook? I thought that's what I was already doing. Though maybe it might be more accurately reproduced on the Poodle Awards website.Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-370334890415967972012-05-21T19:12:22.472-07:002012-05-21T19:12:22.472-07:00Ron,
Maybe you should start up an Assbook site a...Ron,<br /><br /><br />Maybe you should start up an Assbook site and have all the assholes that you skewer become your assbuddies. Or maybe you can start with John's asswipes as your friends--they've already proven themselves.Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07322028233207741737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-30327081490100544652012-05-21T18:51:08.829-07:002012-05-21T18:51:08.829-07:00And of course on FakeBook you will have a lot of F...And of course on FakeBook you will have a lot of Fake friends. Last year my son was deriding me for not having a Facebook account. He had accumulated 350 friends. A couple of weeks later I visit him again and he was all gloomy. What's the problem? Well his best buddy and friend had just moved back east. What about all your Facebook friends? Well they are not really friends. Needless to say I still don't have a Face book account.Wilf G.Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01991786398415985824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-62144319487559946002012-05-21T18:31:36.693-07:002012-05-21T18:31:36.693-07:00I was hoping that someone would start a Fans Of Th...I was hoping that someone would start a Fans Of The HoseMaster FakeBook page. I'm sure in no time I'd have a huge following, and fans would flock to the page to exchange their favorite HoseMaster jokes and write me love letters. When that didn't happen I became bitter, and wrote this piece. <br /><br />As far as I know no one has complained about me on Yelp. Which is also disappointing. <br /><br />Social Media hate me.Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-14405355499273900432012-05-21T13:17:24.453-07:002012-05-21T13:17:24.453-07:00Thomas, you'll be disappointed as the FakeBook...Thomas, you'll be disappointed as the FakeBook stock goes limp and flaccid a day after its IPO.Mockingbirdhttp://mockingsommscriticsotherwineblogs.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-58009007079558120132012-05-21T13:14:38.795-07:002012-05-21T13:14:38.795-07:00Hey, windbag: it's millennial, with two consec...Hey, windbag: it's millennial, with two consecutive n things.<br /><br />I think I've gotten the hang of this antisocial media. <br /><br />By the way, the idea of a FakeBook is quite funny. I wanna be there when it goes pubic; no, I did not misspell the word.Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07322028233207741737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-72219111399979078062012-05-21T09:56:08.285-07:002012-05-21T09:56:08.285-07:00Ron, Did someone say something about you on Yelp?
...Ron, Did someone say something about you on Yelp?<br />You can appeal to its creator: Ted L. Nancy.Mockingbirdhttp://monoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-9559749315766296872012-05-21T09:12:02.851-07:002012-05-21T09:12:02.851-07:00I feel a need to tweet this.I feel a need to tweet this.winebookgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01108898075062843791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-7865800437323683012012-05-21T08:34:12.663-07:002012-05-21T08:34:12.663-07:00I am so with you on Yelp - we celebrate our negati...I am so with you on Yelp - we celebrate our negative reviews. I'm thinking of linking employee bonuses to them. Our customer service attitude is now "thanks for nothing, asswipe! LET the door hit you on the ass on the way out! Please DON'T come again, douchebag!" It's all good.John M. Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18343670865804216103noreply@blogger.com