tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post5377842064815369361..comments2024-02-25T02:50:53.858-08:00Comments on HoseMaster of Wine™: The Feiring Squad Misses The RaptureRon Washam, HMWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-52715514376616200282013-05-27T20:42:44.961-07:002013-05-27T20:42:44.961-07:00After reading through the entire comment list, I s...After reading through the entire comment list, I scroll to the top and see Andy Perdue's simple, yet perfectly phrased comment. I agree with him.Beauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05835422435318171027noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-37306655964821411342013-05-21T18:10:42.424-07:002013-05-21T18:10:42.424-07:00Gabe, sorry I missed your latest comments.
The wh...Gabe, sorry I missed your latest comments.<br /><br />The whole point of shut up and make wine (a phrase that Arthur has invented and I borrowed because it make such good sense) is that----<br /><br />THE WINES SPEAK, not the jargon.<br /><br />I don't really care what you or anyone else drinks. That is your business. But, you really ought not suggest that the only alternatives are your friends wine with VA or overpolished wines from manufactories.<br /><br />As for your mother, I am sure that she makes wonderful food. But if the only way she can present that food to the world is to talk about process rather than taste, then I think she misses the mark.<br /><br />Wine is about taste. And winemakers should, in my humble opinion, not try to convince folks to buy their wines based on anything but taste.Charlie Olkenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02513782687786106137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-61597315913198111512013-05-21T08:17:54.819-07:002013-05-21T08:17:54.819-07:00Martin,
Thanks, I use the comments section, now an...Martin,<br />Thanks, I use the comments section, now and then, to discuss the inspirations for my pieces, and also the nature of The Fool, and satire, and the other stuff that rattles around my skull. I don't think anyone else finds it that interesting, but bouncing that stuff off people as smart as the people who hang around here is good for me.<br /><br />Interesting, if unsurprising, report on the RAW wine tasting. Though how you could sniff that many weird wines in a day and not suffer nasal damage is amazing.<br /><br />Fabio,<br />Sounds like your wines are Certified Sensitive! Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-28955791614942614602013-05-21T07:16:22.362-07:002013-05-21T07:16:22.362-07:00Hi Thomas,
Sorry for taking so long to get back t...Hi Thomas, <br />Sorry for taking so long to get back to you. I've been scraping and painting a new bodega that I'll be moving into this summer, so I cant log on as much as I'd like. Yes, I totally understand Ron's jokes, anaolgies and humour, as I recently passed my Humor #101 class! I especially liked the 'Feiring Squad' tho no-one esle has mentioned it. I think mayby I could use that :)<br />Just to say that (if it were not already evident) that the only ideology I abide by is to have no ideologies or dogmas!!! I try to make lovely drinkable terroir-expressing wines, and all the rest is words, words, words, natural schnatural, bla bla bla! The proof is in the bottle, and no excuses.<br /><br />Ron,<br />You can find my wines in LA but please be careful and try not to frown at them too much - you know how delicate natural wines are! :) Apart from not travelling well, and not aging well (max 10 days), and the cloudiness, and the Brett, and the cider, and the funkiness, and the VA, and the oxidization, and the swamp gas, etc, the frown of a sommelier, even a retired one, would just shatter it completely :)<br /> <br />Fabiohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08029558448422815096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-82144370912906238972013-05-21T02:34:49.460-07:002013-05-21T02:34:49.460-07:00Damn, sorry about the typos. cooed apples is cooke...Damn, sorry about the typos. cooed apples is cooked apples and wie is wine, but you knew that I gusess<br />MMMartinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09362846501337314814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-88499474102661612132013-05-21T02:31:07.169-07:002013-05-21T02:31:07.169-07:00OMG Ron, love your blog and the comments and the r...OMG Ron, love your blog and the comments and the really funny thing is that as brilliant as your satire is, you're even bette when you're serious and having to explain your satire in the comments. As you say the point of satire is to make you think. Those self righteous folk who would hector us need their pomposity pricked whether they be 'natural wine' promoters, vegans, born again Christians, politicians,actors or Bono and you do a terrific job onhere of an area - wie - that I know and care about.<br /><br />Funnily enough I'm coming to this thread late as I've spent two days at the RAW natural wine fair in London and then drinking beer and cider (which tasted just like some of the €40 bottles of no SO2 wines I'd tasted).<br /><br />It must be said there was an an air of delusional cult mentality about the place along with a lot of dodgy facial hair and dreadlocks. After day one I where I'd made a point of trying as many as no SO2 wines as possible I checked twitter and it was full gushing comments about how wonderful all the wines and people were. My metaphor wouldn't have been 'rapture' but emperor's new clothes'. Wonderful wines? What about all the rubbish cider like wines? So I tweeted (@winerepublic if you're interestd)'finally found a range of no SO2 wines worth drinking, (Yann Durieux Burgundy) but 80+% of the wines here are crap. <br /><br />In my attempts to mimic Alder and taste hundreds of wines a day I was forced to develop shorthand and invented ADH, not a childhood nervous order but short for AlDehyDe. Notes for each wine then became simply ADH or Very ADH and now and again OMG no ADH. Also my most used comment or thought when chatting to producers was 'and you like the wine like this?!'<br /><br />Was at the natural fair in London a couple of years ago and found myself tasting next to Alice and caught the end of her seminar where she explained that there not being any actual rules or certification for the term 'natural' was a good thing. I recall thinking 'so it's snake oil' it can be anything you want it to be. And as you point out it implies everyone else is unnatural and inferior. <br /><br />In case you're wondering I think organic and biodynamic are great - who want the earth polluted, but I like to drink good wine that doesn't taste of cooed apples, brett or vinegar and I don't like self righteous.<br /><br />Sorry. I'll get off my soap box now.<br />Martin Moran MW<br />Martinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09362846501337314814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-3329868804375235042013-05-19T20:33:59.380-07:002013-05-19T20:33:59.380-07:00kids playing in the cellar? Lol. No, that doesn&...kids playing in the cellar? Lol. No, that doesn't happen. Honestly, I think I was drunk on dolcetto when i wrote that. But I would rather drink a friends wine that has VA than some overpriced, fined & filtered, polished up wine from a California mega-winery. Kind of the same way I would rather eat my mom's home cooking than go to Spago. So when you say "shut the fuck up and make wine", you probably think you sound edgy and educated. But I just envision some food critic coming into my house and telling my mom to "shut the fuck and make dinner", so I just think it makes you sound like a pompous jerk. I'll look forward to your next article about a "certain winemaker" who thinks everyone should love VAAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13849290999060380035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-58814472039655422392013-05-18T20:37:18.881-07:002013-05-18T20:37:18.881-07:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04213984217724336433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-74645242114215071102013-05-18T18:17:47.608-07:002013-05-18T18:17:47.608-07:00David,
Oh, I knew.
I lampoon the marketing of Na...David,<br />Oh, I knew. <br /><br />I lampoon the marketing of Natural Wine, and everyone reads that I'm insulting Natural Wine itself. If I insulted the Pope, I'd hear from Catholics saying I was attacking their religion. That's why the Rapture, as a metaphor, works, I think, in this comic context.<br /><br />And then it devolves into oneupsmanship, and oneupswomanship, and, well, the fun never stops here at HoseMaster.<br /><br />Sadly, I think, the word "natural" has become yet another wine word without meaning, joining the likes of "reserve" and "old vines" and "Gold Medal Winner." There will always be people who assign it meaning, who put their hard earned dollars into a wine declared "natural," though it's not necessarily delicious (and it's not necessarily not delicious either, it's just wine), because they believe it is healthier, or better, or cooler. They won't give a simple thought that it might just be marketing. Many times, it is not marketing. But the more the movement becomes appealing, the more it will be used for sales and marketing, and without the least bit of shame that it might be dishonest. I'm OK with that. I'm reminded of folks who want to eat food that is humanely slaughtered, as though humanely is the key word in that phrase.<br /><br />They are all only words, but words have power, and the people who use those words, and use them to promote their own agenda, simply desire that power. Give it to them if you like. Just be a little bit aware.Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-42725111080894425752013-05-18T16:40:27.383-07:002013-05-18T16:40:27.383-07:00Gabriel--
You may not mind a little VA in your wi...Gabriel--<br /><br />You may not mind a little VA in your wine, but why should the rest of us accept it just because your winemaker friends allow it?<br /><br />Don't clean your barrels because the kids play in the cellar? Is that why natural wine exists? Who knew?<br /><br />Besides, why does natural wine have to have VA or Brett or anything else uncalled for?<br /><br />As I said so eloquently above, I dont care how anyone makes their wines. I care how those wines taste. Since when has taste been supplanted as the arbiter of wine desirability?<br /><br />Arthur--<br /><br />In your case, maybe you should just stick to quiet. The world does not need another blog that no one reads. We already have a thousand of those.Charlie Olkenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02513782687786106137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-40474631045137875782013-05-18T09:11:49.218-07:002013-05-18T09:11:49.218-07:00Jeez, I ignore him for a year and Chaz finally fig...Jeez, I ignore him for a year and Chaz finally figures out the point of my blog name (but does he know he did?.....) I guess I'll have to start writing again...Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04213984217724336433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-38975332541921257592013-05-18T06:33:15.602-07:002013-05-18T06:33:15.602-07:00Wow! I guess you can make fun of religion, race, c...Wow! I guess you can make fun of religion, race, cancer and death, but not the puffery around natural wine marketing. Who knew?<br /><br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06340119694154206371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-37875676511716936322013-05-17T21:53:08.694-07:002013-05-17T21:53:08.694-07:00I'm sure I'm gonna catch hell for this, bu...I'm sure I'm gonna catch hell for this, but fuck it. I don't taste wine blind. I don't think that judging the quality of one random glass is the thing. I know the people who make my wine. I've been to their house, their cellar. I've met their kids, and their kids have played with my dog. And you know what, that stuff matters to me. If their wine has a little VA, i don't mind, because I know that they don't spray their barrels with sulfur because their kids play in the cellar. That shit matters. And if you write about wine for a living, but don't care about how wine is made...well, that just seems odd to me. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13849290999060380035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-81155729451120164712013-05-17T19:06:22.731-07:002013-05-17T19:06:22.731-07:00Ron:
You bring out the best in your readers.
Ove...Ron:<br /><br />You bring out the best in your readers.<br /><br />Over and out.Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07322028233207741737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-25568787693895700312013-05-17T17:17:30.044-07:002013-05-17T17:17:30.044-07:00Mother f'er! just wrote a long ass response an...Mother f'er! just wrote a long ass response and had it eaten by a hiccup in the internet. <br /><br />Gabe,<br />Thanks kid, I knew I liked you. <br /><br />Ron,<br />Didn't say I wanted any kind of post. You write what you love to write Baby, I am all in as you know. I shan't be ranting on the subject as I've grown beyond bored with arguing over something that no one can define, with people who are smug as fuck, on both sides, and will never see eye to eye. Stopped reading nearly all blogs because of that actually. I love you and your posts precisely because you point out the assholes, was merely mentioning that there are assholes on both sides. <br /><br />Charlie,<br />I often lump the natural wine bullshit in with the whole alcohol "debate" and it was about the latter that I think you have been pretty vocal about, you and Stephen actually. Sorry if you felt I misquoted you love and I hope our friendship is strong enough to endure a little ribbing, especially here and with you knowing how much I love you.<br /><br />I'm feeling like Thomas now, cannot believe I let myself get pulled back in! I love you all and my wish for us all is that we shut the fuck up and drink what we like! Happy weekend all. Samantha Duganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05214278596698698245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-10754188110755812162013-05-17T16:46:48.410-07:002013-05-17T16:46:48.410-07:00Samantha, my dear friend--
If you are going to re...Samantha, my dear friend--<br /><br />If you are going to remain my dear friend, you are going to have to stop misquoting me. <br /><br />I dont give a rusty rat's ass one way or the other about natural wine, authentic wine, organic wine, biodynamic wine.<br /><br />I taste WINE for a living and I taste it all blind. I am completely agnostic about the subject or subjects. But I absolutely reject the "mine is better" attitude that some people wear as some kind of badge of honor.<br /><br />They are pompous twits who cannot judge wine for what it is but for how it is made. So, when they get pissed off that Ron or I or anyone else is making fun of them and their pomposity, I have one thing to say to them.<br /><br />Shut the fuck up and make wine. Full stop.Charlie Olkenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02513782687786106137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-60388235771587598122013-05-17T16:46:20.170-07:002013-05-17T16:46:20.170-07:00Cris,
Well said.
I had a sinking feeling when I ...Cris,<br />Well said. <br /><br />I had a sinking feeling when I published this piece that it would set off this kind of debate. I just thought it was a funny, and appropriate, premise. <br /><br />My Gorgeous Samantha,<br />If you want those sorts of posts, write them. You rant as well as anyone, let Tom and Charlie have it. I write what I want to write. The Natural Wine folks get more crap tossed at them because, aside from Fabio, they seem to be pretty humorless and dead set on educating the rest of us about what "real" wine should taste like. That invites scorn. <br /><br />By the way, it's unlikely many of them read my foolishness, just as I avoid their dissembling and dreadfully boring posts. They're too busy authenticating wines.<br /><br />Gabe,<br />You're learning, kid, you're learning. Not self-deprecation, but always agreeing with Samantha. Smart boy!Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-68168036507281100842013-05-17T14:59:11.636-07:002013-05-17T14:59:11.636-07:00As for everyone else: I did make that wonderfully ...As for everyone else: I did make that wonderfully self-deprecating joke about bentonite fining. So I'm getting better.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13849290999060380035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-88090884873449679112013-05-17T14:50:55.730-07:002013-05-17T14:50:55.730-07:00Samantha, for what it's worth, I'm with yo...Samantha, for what it's worth, I'm with you.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13849290999060380035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-31046952153537448012013-05-17T13:43:28.389-07:002013-05-17T13:43:28.389-07:00Goddamn it, gonna get myself branded as a natural ...Goddamn it, gonna get myself branded as a natural wine defender! Not the case and I think I agree more with Ron and Cris than Alice and the like when it comes to the chatter and natural wine bullshit, I was simply wondering where the posts are that make fun of Tom & Charlie and their "This is hooey and get off my lawn" rants that they tend to go on is all. Samantha Duganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05214278596698698245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-33008378479745141652013-05-17T13:28:30.490-07:002013-05-17T13:28:30.490-07:00Samantha,
I'm just not sure what other side t...Samantha,<br /><br />I'm just not sure what other side there is to mock. The whole RMP/Jay Miller/Laube crowd has been beaten down for years. Hell, ridiculing and exposing those clowns was the primary reason we even started WineBerserkers. Propping up wines with 500% new oak, picked at 55 brix and run through the concentrator 3 times is done. The people who chafe against natural wines never supported those monstrosities anyways. It's a straw man to suggest that if you are against the natural win dogma that you somehow want wines that are chemical concoction manipulated beyond recognition. <br /><br /><br />The proponents of so called natural wines have the megaphone these days. We have been treated to their ideology now for a at least a couple years and it is beyond tiresome for those of us merely in search of good wines to drink. Its the same reason I reject religion. I might agree with a very religious person on very many things but I reject the notion that I have to sign up for their ideology. I would agree with the natural wine crowd on 95% of the wines we tasted blind together but I really don't want to dogma and judgement that comes along with it.Cris Whetstonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00580386535702366380noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-18785523231870115902013-05-17T13:12:01.676-07:002013-05-17T13:12:01.676-07:00I'm naturally pre-disposed to argue with peopl...I'm naturally pre-disposed to argue with people. I'm also naturally on hiatus, so why am I responding again? Because, like the blowhards of the universe, I'm naturally full of shit--natural shit, of course.<br /><br />Fabio, Fabio: again, Ron is not knocking those who work hard in the industry. He lampoons those who make a joke out of your hard work. They make a joke of it by reducing it to an ideology. Now, if you are into ideology, then forget what I said and just assume that I'm full of shit, which I may be, but I hate ideology in any form. It's as bad as nationalism.<br /><br />Sam: the Hosemaster incriminates, but he does not discriminate (although I did hear a rumor that he thinks that all Italian-Americans are Mafiosi, so don't mess with me). Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07322028233207741737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-86107803048700189002013-05-17T10:37:09.193-07:002013-05-17T10:37:09.193-07:00Rogue Baby,
Lovely to see you here again.
Oh, I g...Rogue Baby,<br />Lovely to see you here again.<br /><br />Oh, I get all kinds of crap all over the place for what I write. And there are also times when I cringe at some of the people who like what I do. So it goes. I'm never trying to do anything but make folks laugh at themselves and this relatively meaningless business we're in. Well, that, and exorcize my comedy demons.<br /><br />I just saw the title of Jamie Goode's latest post (I haven't read it, and probably won't), "Three Amazing Natural Wines from Mas Coutelou." Which word doesn't belong in that title? Which word is clearly unnecessary? Which word does Goode use that Mas Coutelou probably doesn't? Sigh.<br /><br />My Gorgeous Samantha,<br />Almost everything else I write that isn't about natural wines mocks the other side, the wine Establishment, in some fashion. Is that what you mean? It's all how you read satire, and what you bring to it. The Natural Wine zealots, NOT the natural wine makers, are the Amish people of wine, they're the vegans of wine, they're the Fundamentalists of wine. And like all of those folks, at some basic level their fervor robs life, and wine, of its most important ingredient, fun. Because, God knows, if a great wine isn't "natural," well, it's not actually great now, is it?Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-75581428921264986682013-05-17T10:06:15.565-07:002013-05-17T10:06:15.565-07:00Thomas,
Oh please, you think I don't get Ron? ...Thomas,<br />Oh please, you think I don't get Ron? Come on now, I would bet money that I understand him better than just about anyone, here at least. All I was pointing out was that I've seen plenty of pieces mocking one side and barely any, at least in some time, pointing the other way. I get that the loud mouths that rant about "All natural" are annoying as fuck and easy to make fun of, hell they get under my skin as well, just pointing out why there may be some perceived notion that Ron, or The HoseMaster I should say, is anti natural wines. That was the point I was trying to make silly head. Samantha Duganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05214278596698698245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-79518056069530497412013-05-17T09:46:18.749-07:002013-05-17T09:46:18.749-07:00I love natural wines, but I also love taking the p...I love natural wines, but I also love taking the piss out of misguided elitists, which is clearly what you are doing here. I like your last point about why posts like these get everyone riled: it's closer to home. It's a true test of whether people are taking themselves a little too seriously or not.<br />There, I commented. Now back to work!Rogue Winohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10963991830248344293noreply@blogger.com