tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post728091688272901315..comments2024-03-22T00:35:12.415-07:00Comments on HoseMaster of Wine™: Matt Kramer on Bull, and Other Literary EndeavorsRon Washam, HMWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-18122953838296504802013-07-18T10:12:50.285-07:002013-07-18T10:12:50.285-07:00How about this one?
From the Expectorator 2005:
...How about this one? <br />From the Expectorator 2005:<br />Henri Bonneau Châteauneuf-du-Pape Réserve des Célestins 1998 WS 98 $270 Bonneau’s Réserve des Célestins is a ridiculously late-released and expensive rarity that rabid collectors will grab all of before most consumers ever see it offered. The ’98 Célestins is monstrous, overflowing with roasted chestnut, beef bouillon, bittersweet cocoa, prune, brick dust, espresso bean and hoisin sauce flavors. This broad shouldered and immensely concentrated throwback offers accessibility now and for the next 30 years. Drink now through 2035. 100 cases imported.<br /><br />And the updated post in 2007:<br />Still a monster of a wine, with beefy-textured chestnut, roasted fig, bittersweet cocoa, incense and blood sausage flavors that run through the massive finish, which is racy yet densely structured and lets notes of hoisin sauce and charcoal linger. This could stay just like this for quite some time.--1998 Châteauneuf-du-Pape retrospective. Drink now through 2032. 100 cases imported. –JMThe Sommelierehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05373623446507975769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-59009000809145984212013-07-17T17:41:21.597-07:002013-07-17T17:41:21.597-07:00Ron: Glad to do your research...as long as I get a...Ron: Glad to do your research...as long as I get a laugh out of it. The comments on the Winebow website kind of amazed me...not too many wines are a pure expression of the id and the pleasure principle...I am waiting for somebody to make wine for the Jung at Heart...maybe a Red Book Red<br /><br /><br />Thomas: Glad to be your straight man.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12202797971043380941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-31885388226753132642013-07-17T08:11:27.426-07:002013-07-17T08:11:27.426-07:00Gabe,
OK, now you're being ridiculous.Gabe,<br />OK, now you're being ridiculous.Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-36302544982737765402013-07-16T21:59:30.923-07:002013-07-16T21:59:30.923-07:00tarry tomacco minerality, or just tomacco minerali...tarry tomacco minerality, or just tomacco minerality?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13849290999060380035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-59466999541609596422013-07-16T08:05:51.236-07:002013-07-16T08:05:51.236-07:00Hey Mel,
Thanks for doing the leg work on that par...Hey Mel,<br />Thanks for doing the leg work on that particular wine. You'd think that descriptions would be meant to either sell wine, discourage someone from buying a wine, or be accurate. As usual, this one failed on all three counts. <br /><br />I found myself wondering what the "average" (whatever that is) wine drinker/reader of WS would make of a review like that, and the hundreds of others published in each issue. That lead to my revised note. There are lots of other notes I could have chosen, but it seems the Primitivo was fortuitous. Thanks!<br /><br />Thomas,<br />Beat me to it... Way to go!<br />Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-80498340007470785312013-07-16T08:04:23.273-07:002013-07-16T08:04:23.273-07:00"I am waiting for somebody to make a wine in ..."I am waiting for somebody to make a wine in homage to BF Skinner."<br /><br />That would be wine in a box, no?Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07322028233207741737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-30630202386804571372013-07-16T00:28:25.748-07:002013-07-16T00:28:25.748-07:00Mel--
I thought that was your specialty. Containe...Mel--<br /><br />I thought that was your specialty. Container for things put away in dark places. You call them barrels.<br /><br />The rest of the world knows them as dresser drawers.Charlie Olkenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02513782687786106137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-19091918425515717292013-07-15T23:17:20.161-07:002013-07-15T23:17:20.161-07:00I looked up the wine on the Winebow website and le...I looked up the wine on the Winebow website and learned so much. The grapes are allowed to dry out a bit on the vine before harvest and the result would appear to be a kind of amarone...16,5% alc and 4 grams of rs (or was it 6?)..Was this conveyed in the review??<br /><br />The title of the wine means Id in italian and the wine is an homage to Sigmund freud. Perhaps the Wine Spectator thinks Siggie belong in the Cigar department so they left this out.<br /><br />The wine is an expression of primal instinct. It's all about pure pleasure. Just like the id.<br /><br />Of course, sometimes while you drink this your superego says, $75??<br /><br />I am waiting for somebody to make a wine in homage to BF Skinner.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12202797971043380941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-23943426055113886212013-07-15T21:30:37.526-07:002013-07-15T21:30:37.526-07:00Hi Bill,
Thanks for the comment. Don't mind Th...Hi Bill,<br />Thanks for the comment. Don't mind Thomas. He's always that way.<br /><br />Tarry is often used as a descriptor, but not usually in conjunction with minerality. Who smells tar and gets minerality? That was what made me do a doubletake. Just lousy reviewing. Which one could spend a lifetime satirizing.<br /><br />KidP,<br />Yup, the price is certainly amibitious and probably unwarranted. But, hey, it does have mesquite, which costs more in charcoal!<br /><br />I know of Garagiste, but don't subscribe or pay attention. Marketed to dweebs, run by dweebs, it costs money to be in that gang of idiots. But I like the general idea. Take advantage of wine wannabes with overhyped, "cult" wines, and then roll in the cash. I may use that idea...<br /><br />Thanks. Don't be a stranger...<br />Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-83686125661788734472013-07-15T19:54:23.066-07:002013-07-15T19:54:23.066-07:00I'm still trying to figure out how $75 Primiti...I'm still trying to figure out how $75 Primitivo happens, to anyone.<br /><br />Related: Ron, I am still waiting for the day when your pen alights on Garagiste.<br /><br />Please don't ever stop. Thank you.KidPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09629397008695251987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-30069214971582753812013-07-15T19:21:17.798-07:002013-07-15T19:21:17.798-07:00Oh, that explains it Bill: tar-ry miner-ality.
S...Oh, that explains it Bill: tar-ry miner-ality. <br /><br />Sounds like the name of a stripper working the pits.Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07322028233207741737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-23910679446055603052013-07-15T18:57:12.769-07:002013-07-15T18:57:12.769-07:00Not as a defense, because I certainly didn't ...Not as a defense, because I certainly didn't understand what the wine tasted like after the description, but I think that it's tar-ry as in of and pertaining to recently paved roads or repaired roofs. Not my favorite wine accent, but...to each his own.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07819421009301774682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-83708545434021011922013-07-15T18:26:52.191-07:002013-07-15T18:26:52.191-07:00Lynn,
Thank you. I do think there's a lot of t...Lynn,<br />Thank you. I do think there's a lot of truth in it--that it does reflect how our minds wander, or are stunned, when we read these kinds of wine descriptions, which are, in fact, ubiquitous.<br /><br />Thomas,<br />So he meant "tarry melena" not "tarry minerality?" Just how I think of Primitivo--a classic descriptor. I apologize. As for foul-smelling stools, sounds like a bar I used to work in.<br /><br />Paul,<br />I think I've had enough of Parker as Parker. Maybe next, Jay Miller as Henry Miller.<br /><br />Marcia Love,<br />I sat down to write another edition of wine notes written by famous writers, but then I had an inspiration. What if famous wine writers wrote as famous authors? A mix of stilted and silly wine prose and literature. Robert M. as Robert B. was just to easy to pass up. And Kramer as Hemingway came out of nowhere and led, perhaps inevitably, to the bull ring. The joys of writing comedy...you never know where your twisted mind will lead you.<br /><br />Steve,<br />Wine descriptions, for the most part, are written to cover for the fact that folks only care about the numbers. The kind of 30-word description I mock here doesn't so much describe wine as it makes you scratch your head and wonder, "Who writes this crap?"<br /><br />The flavors in wine aren't infinite. Reds have more in common with each other than they have different, as do whites. The real context of wine is experience, not adjectives.<br /><br />I'll give a nod to Charlie (and Stephen) here to say that of all the major wine publications, their descriptions are the most useful and best written. I still skim them, but I've been around a long time. Their notes reflect their incomparable experience and read as though they were thoughtfully considered. No small accomplishment.<br /><br />Charlie,<br />What's amazing to me is that I didn't even have to search for a silly wine description. There's not one thing about that review that makes any sense to me. But, there it is, prominently featured. No one, NO ONE, would buy a wine that exactly fit that stupid description. Except it got 91 points--a bargain for $75!<br /><br />Gabe,<br />I'd go for "it has a tomacco minerality." Always works.<br /><br />Dean,<br />Your comment reminds me that one should never drink wine from the cellar of a guy with dyslexia. Man, that 97 point wine tastes crappy.<br /> Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-20259286645275877222013-07-15T17:39:21.066-07:002013-07-15T17:39:21.066-07:00Ron, you are an excellent revisionist. The words j...Ron, you are an excellent revisionist. The words just drip off the page into my glass..<br /><br />Normally, I salivate at the wine descriptions but then I just forget them, concentrating all my brain power on the number: was it 89 or 98? or worse? The older I get the more illiterate I am -- BUT not the more innumerate. I've moved from crosswords to sudoku.<br /><br />A good number would beat a word anytime. Currently, I'm looking at 38-28-32..my wine locker combination, among other things.Dean Tudorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09027150351344396656noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-506278940704272512013-07-15T13:50:06.302-07:002013-07-15T13:50:06.302-07:00loved the hemmingway. when we write our wine desc...loved the hemmingway. when we write our wine descriptors, we always try to make up at least one word. some of my favorites include flavors of mackinaw peach and aromas of tiger lillies. we are still trying to figure out how to sneak the word "tomacco" into a tasting note. Maybe the 2012 pinot noir...Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13849290999060380035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-14057487322956392102013-07-15T11:23:40.853-07:002013-07-15T11:23:40.853-07:00I wish Steve Lay were not so close to the truth. T...I wish Steve Lay were not so close to the truth. The writing of objective tasting notes may rise above the level of obit writing, but when we sit down to write 100 descriptions of any variety, the descriptors are going to get a repetitive and the notes themselves, if read as some kind of novel, are going to boring as bad Hemingway.<br /><br />At least we know onething when the subject is the bull. There is going to be a lot of excrement around--and none of it is going to smell like mesquite infused baking spices (just what I want in my cupcakes).Charlie Olkenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02513782687786106137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-23930568688785793022013-07-15T11:01:31.383-07:002013-07-15T11:01:31.383-07:00I once went to Total Wines and purused their 8,000...I once went to Total Wines and purused their 8,000 wines (OK, I lied like a politician...maybe it was 15-20 bottles). I wrote down the word descriptions of the wines and found there are a set of words to describe reds and whites. Reds generally are-tobacco, barnyards/i.e. straw, earthy, cherries, blackberries. Whites are: pears, green apples, petunias.<br />To be more definitive-name a variety: Fuji Apple (just kidding).<br />In the final analysis what is the penalty for these diatribes pumped out? Writing wine descriptions must be the wine publication's equivalent of writing Obits. for newspapers.<br />Great Blog. But now I am pissed off again for being such a slave to wine descriptions. What do the reviews for Night Train or Boone Farm or Thunderbird look like? Steve Layhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11485378664675668077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-11113134448263169812013-07-15T10:41:58.257-07:002013-07-15T10:41:58.257-07:00Love the Hemingway! Dead on! (...which is why I do...Love the Hemingway! Dead on! (...which is why I don't read Hemingway.)<br /><br />I rarely read wine descriptors unless it's a wine I already know well and want to see if the reviewer has similar responses to it.<br /><br />A review in the Spectator of a client's wine basically lifted the winemaker's tasting notes almost verbatim. Sheesh! (I assume no one opened the bottle to form his/her own opinion. ;-P)<br /><br />For future literary endeavor ideas: Dickens, Bronte (pick one), Homer! (not Simpson), Agatha Christie, Jack Higgins, Eugene O'Neill... Tom Stoppard. (A good place to stop!)Marcia Macomberhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07237764449953259939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-68322066073122817602013-07-15T10:16:05.925-07:002013-07-15T10:16:05.925-07:00More Robert (BM) Parker!More Robert (BM) Parker!PaulGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05409346656762573929noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-75598518074237632792013-07-15T10:02:17.225-07:002013-07-15T10:02:17.225-07:00From a medical dictionary:
Bloody stools often ar...From a medical dictionary:<br /><br />Bloody stools often are a sign of an injury or disorder in the digestive tract. Your doctor may use the term "melena" to describe black, tarry, and foul-smelling stools...<br /><br />91 points indeed.Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07322028233207741737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-2956201201847501732013-07-15T09:55:40.726-07:002013-07-15T09:55:40.726-07:00I really enjoy your clever writing style, but that...I really enjoy your clever writing style, but that revised wine description is definitely one of your better ones. Love it!Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10144729430387958496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-2788497454534368322013-07-15T08:51:33.834-07:002013-07-15T08:51:33.834-07:00Daniel,
Well, that's a nice irony. When I had ...Daniel,<br />Well, that's a nice irony. When I had the idea for this piece, I went to the WS website and that was the first, the very first, review I came across. It was wine of the day, or some kind of featured crap like that, and "tarry minerality" had to be the stupidest descriptor I'd seen in a long time. I thought I might have to search a while to find a lame wine description, but, nope, nothing to it.Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-60427230601948790942013-07-15T08:39:54.289-07:002013-07-15T08:39:54.289-07:00I actually work for the importer of that wine...an...I actually work for the importer of that wine...and I have no idea what that description means. If they hadn't given a good number score, you would have thought they hated the wine and wanted you to know just exactly how much they can't stand it in detail. <br /><br />it's all about the bull!<br /><br />cheers<br />danielDanielhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13947624477553194151noreply@blogger.com