tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post7760764992865132329..comments2024-02-25T02:50:53.858-08:00Comments on HoseMaster of Wine™: My Favorite Hate MailRon Washam, HMWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-65082023269003096882010-03-01T11:57:57.228-08:002010-03-01T11:57:57.228-08:00Puff Daddy,
Nope I was wrong, had my guys mixed...Puff Daddy,<br /><br /> Nope I was wrong, had my guys mixed up. You are indeed Fancy Pants, Ron is the one that wears "fancy pants" on his head. Sorry for the mixup. <br /><br />Yeah, I see you have been busy on that sugar free blog and even saw that you, (and Our HoseMaster) were featured on Steve's blog this morning...must admit, felt all left out and junk.Samantha Duganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05214278596698698245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-5360518668839851672010-03-01T00:25:29.032-08:002010-03-01T00:25:29.032-08:00Oh, sorry Sam. I have been busy. I have had to pos...Oh, sorry Sam. I have been busy. I have had to post several times over on that place with no sugar added, and Steve Heimoff is always fun.<br /><br />So, sorry I have no added more comments here latelu.<br /><br />But, and this just occurred to me, I may not be the Fancy Pants you were referring to. I mean, just because you once called me Fancy Pants on your own blog does not mean that I am the only Fancy Pants in your life.<br /><br />Pity, that. I guess I will go to bed now with my hot water bottle and snifter of cognac.Puff Daddyhttp://www.cgcw.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-8192150144707446202010-02-28T13:32:23.118-08:002010-02-28T13:32:23.118-08:00Hey Fancy Pants....too famous to feed us now?! Goi...Hey Fancy Pants....too famous to feed us now?! Going crazy down here waiting for my giggles...Samantha Duganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05214278596698698245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-59008820847366417042010-02-25T18:52:44.480-08:002010-02-25T18:52:44.480-08:00Eric,
Get over to vinofictions; no one will ever...Eric, <br /><br />Get over to vinofictions; no one will ever find you there.Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07322028233207741737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-49479802692447372232010-02-25T18:20:58.880-08:002010-02-25T18:20:58.880-08:00Hey Eric,
I'm sure you'd really enjoy the...Hey Eric,<br /><br />I'm sure you'd really enjoy the antics and brilliant wit over at DirtySouthWine. That Toady Wallace guy can really knock 'em out of the park. Golly.<br /><br />For thoughtful and moving blogs, try the WineWhore. He sure makes one thoughtful about moving, mostly to another blog.<br /><br />And, hey, I like having 1WineDude and Steve around. They make Samantha and me seem standoffish with each other. And I feel taller. (Oh, sorry, Joe. But I'm rather diminutive myself, and not just in the integrity department.)Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-49105847971412726982010-02-25T16:33:17.022-08:002010-02-25T16:33:17.022-08:00Shit!
Now Steve AND Dude are commenting here???
I...Shit!<br />Now Steve AND Dude are commenting here???<br /><br />I gotta go.<br /><br />Anyone know of quirky/funny wine related blogs that nobody else is reading?<br /><br />And too, thoughtful/moving blogs? Sans is getting too busy also.<br /><br />EVOEric V. Orangehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10421713709476706024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-59610042324461244412010-02-25T15:00:24.948-08:002010-02-25T15:00:24.948-08:00Steve,
Bravo!Steve,<br /><br />Bravo!Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-8493186142474481652010-02-25T14:50:49.160-08:002010-02-25T14:50:49.160-08:00In the interests of transparency, Parker actually ...In the interests of transparency, Parker actually asked me to be his reviewer for the Wines of Hell. He said it was a very nice place to visit (I’ve never been there), albeit a little warm during the summer; but as I’ve spent time in Paso Robles in August, I didn’t think that would be a problem. However, I declined; too many potential conflicts of interest. I have many friends down there, some of them involved in the wine trade, and would have had to recuse myself in too many instances. Also, I asked Jim Laube for his opinion (which I value -- he’s been at this longer than I have, although a tad less than Mr. Olken), and Jim asked me a good question: Did I really think that being known as the Reviewer from Hell would further my career? Hmm, thought I; and it did seem a tad onerous. I decided, one evening when the rain was falling, that perhaps a brief visit to the Winelands of Hell itself might be in order, so that I could peruse, with my own eye, that place wherein I might have to live, and whose wines I would have to review. Not knowing how to get to Hell, I called 1WineDude, who told me it’s easy: Just click your sneakers three times and say, “Dr. Vino is the Supreme Blogmeister of the Underworld.” Voila, it worked, and the next thing I knew, I was in Hell (literally, if not figuratively). It was a bar, of the type with pool tables and jukeboxes and strange, questionable-looking people, but there, across the crowded floor, in the lurid red light was a face that looked familiar. I approached, and, indeed, it was he, himself, the Hosemaster, appearing to be the age of 4 or so (see his photo, above), and grinning salaciously as he proffered me a glass of something red and bubbling and hissed, with fetid breath, “This is the Pinot of a rabid llama. Laube gave it one billion points.” Something came over me, a kind of mental paralysis. I accepted the glass -- brought it to my lips -- inhaled -- the fumes swam through my brain like Drano -- I spun dizzily on my feet -- tilted my head back -- poured in the red stuff -- and...and...<br /><br />It ends there, the memory. The next thing I knew I was reading Hosemaster’s blog, unable to understand if I were safe at home, or still in Hell, or in some indeterminate sphere inbetween. The phone rang; I picked it up; it was Bob Parker. He had, he explained, chosen the very Dude whose instructions had gotten me into Hell, to be his Hell Taster. I told Charlie Olken, who blogged about it, and received over 11,000 comments, including one from Vinography, who said Hell is up-and-coming and did they need any help designing websites; also one from Tom Wark, who noted (properly, in my opinion) that, as Hell is filled with distributors, 1WineDude should have ample opportunities for being invited to endless lunches and dinners, it being understood that the food there is quite spicy. At that moment, the paperboy arrived with my Chronicle, which just happened to contain the article to which the Hosemaster refers, the one in which he and Jon Bonné trade quips to determine who is the most hilarious. It was, quite simply, the greatest article on the Hosemaster I have ever read.Steve Heimoffhttp://steveheimoff.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-32049413513831581072010-02-25T14:38:13.320-08:002010-02-25T14:38:13.320-08:00Ron,
Would you like a picture of my poodle, Olive...Ron,<br /><br />Would you like a picture of my poodle, Oliver? If so, here's his email address; he can handle the transaction himself, as long as he isn't on a job for the local newspaper--or sitting on the local newspaper.<br /><br />Oliver@kennelclubforcurlyhairedcomedians.netThomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07322028233207741737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-30627927337506382472010-02-25T14:04:30.666-08:002010-02-25T14:04:30.666-08:00Eric,
Sadly no one did...useless without spell c...Eric,<br /> Sadly no one did...useless without spell check.Samantha Duganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05214278596698698245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-57367128198664066702010-02-25T13:42:02.887-08:002010-02-25T13:42:02.887-08:00Did he teach you to spell too, Sans?
EVODid he teach you to spell too, Sans?<br /><br />EVOEric V. Orangehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10421713709476706024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-11905082883384739012010-02-25T12:09:49.672-08:002010-02-25T12:09:49.672-08:00Always crackin' on my commas you, what do you ...Always crackin' on my commas you, what do you want from a girl that took a William Shatner sentance composition class?!Samantha Duganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05214278596698698245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-28343683588640145132010-02-25T08:38:57.716-08:002010-02-25T08:38:57.716-08:00Hey Gang,
Eric, you're right, I need to go ba...Hey Gang,<br /><br />Eric, you're right, I need to go back to obscurity where I belong. Which is why I went to Charlie's house.<br /><br />Charlie,<br /><br />You think the MFWWW confused you with Laube? Now you're writing yourself hate mail. He may have mistaken you for Captain Kangaroo.<br /><br />Alfonso,<br /><br />I saw your new post "An Italian and A Jew Walk Into..." and I thought it was about our now infamous dinner with the MFWWW. I didn't know you grew up next door to Liberace. This explains a lot.<br /><br />1WineDude,<br /><br />I don't write 'em, I just post 'em. And I saw the picture of your wife on your blog and I'm really not feeling sorry for you. Every poodle has his day.<br /><br />Thomas,<br /><br />Poodles are smarter than comedians. Anyway, I'm not a standard comedian, I'm a teacup comedian.<br /><br />My Gorgeous Samantha,<br /><br />I love your hate mail. Especially the pictures and all the commas. Don't worry, some day, just like with Charlie, I'll be leaving my DNA at your house.<br /><br />I adore you!<br /><br />Oops, there's more hate mail arriving! Who knew poodles could Tweet?Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-71662153965765138092010-02-25T06:22:51.603-08:002010-02-25T06:22:51.603-08:00Winedude, how do you think I feel? I've been a...Winedude, how do you think I feel? I've been a standard poodle owner for years. <br /><br />They may be smarter than wine people--they certainly are smarter than comedians...Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07322028233207741737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-15765201337742651212010-02-25T04:39:36.714-08:002010-02-25T04:39:36.714-08:00It was so funny until the height jokes started com...It was so funny until the height jokes started coming out! :-)1WineDudehttp://www.1winedude.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-4924925356890962752010-02-24T21:40:09.580-08:002010-02-24T21:40:09.580-08:00Eric
I work too hard. That is why I have to take ...Eric<br /><br />I work too hard. That is why I have to take refuge here in the home of the HMW every so often.<br /><br />And since the HMW sat in on our tasting last night, I was living in fear all day until he posted.<br /><br />On the whole, I got off easy. He apparently was so embarrassed at how serious we are that he made up a new word or two on our behalf and then left town before I could take a picture of him as proof. <br /><br />I have saved his tasting glasses, however, and am testing them for DNA. He was here, dammit.Charlie Olkenhttp://www.cgcw.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-72483504517257177882010-02-24T19:59:58.916-08:002010-02-24T19:59:58.916-08:00Sans,
You do too.Sans,<br /><br />You do too.Eric V. Orangehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10421713709476706024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-41157426588605336622010-02-24T19:32:49.025-08:002010-02-24T19:32:49.025-08:00Eric,
I don't wear britches, you know that....Eric,<br /><br /> I don't wear britches, you know that.<br /><br />Mr. HoseMaster Sir,<br /> <br /> So once again you left my hate mail out of your post. You know the one where I break yer bawls about having dinner with Sir Charles Olken...not once but twice, The Most Famous Wine Writer in the World and Alfonso, not to mention countless lunches with Tom Wark and yet....never even offered to toss peanuts in my mouth in a bar. I see where I rate around here, sheesh I thought having tots might get me, at the very least, a meeting with His Hoseness. Sniff...sniff.<br />Nice article in The Chronicle though.<br />Remember me when...<br />Sniff<br />Your Unmeetable <br />SamanthaSamantha Duganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05214278596698698245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-1146791604841874822010-02-24T19:09:16.178-08:002010-02-24T19:09:16.178-08:00Liberace was my neighbor, as a child, and I never ...Liberace was my neighbor, as a child, and I never remember him having any affection for young poodles. He leaned in other directions.Alfonso Cevolahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16983431475848714789noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-79618524886146122732010-02-24T19:04:55.996-08:002010-02-24T19:04:55.996-08:00How come Charlie always beats me.
Don't he wor...How come Charlie always beats me.<br />Don't he work?<br /><br />EVOEric V. Orangehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10421713709476706024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-3592933469736223762010-02-24T19:04:23.887-08:002010-02-24T19:04:23.887-08:00You're on a roll, but hey...that last bit..35 ...You're on a roll, but hey...that last bit..35 comments??<br /><br />I don't have time to read all that shit, so knock if off, eh?<br /><br />I got a site to run..<br /><br />I'm going to have to look for more obscurity. <br /><br />You and Sans both, gettin too big fer yer britches.<br /><br />EVOEric V. Orangehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10421713709476706024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-32902233005677364632010-02-24T18:36:47.970-08:002010-02-24T18:36:47.970-08:00You know, it is a strange coincidence that I would...You know, it is a strange coincidence that I would have met the MFWWW a day or two after you apparently grossed him out at dinner with you and Alfonso.<br /><br />I was sitting there quietly admiring the blond with the short skirt and long legs when MFWWW walked up to me and complained about meeting you. It is no wonder that he is now sending you hate mail.<br /><br />Oh, and I want to correct one thing in his letter. He exaggerates when he says he could have had dinner with me. He must have had me confused with Jim Laube. My code of ethics keeps me from having dinner with other writers so no one can accuse me of stealing their ideas--unlike you comedians who never met someone else's funny line that you could not call your own.<br /><br />Hey, this hate mail stuff is fun.Charlie Olkenhttp://www.cgcw.comnoreply@blogger.com