tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post9077163079058749243..comments2024-02-25T02:50:53.858-08:00Comments on HoseMaster of Wine™: Somm In Your Pants™!Ron Washam, HMWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-12038407790130599042013-09-06T16:56:13.382-07:002013-09-06T16:56:13.382-07:00Clinton,
Oddly, I've never even been in a Cost...Clinton,<br />Oddly, I've never even been in a Costco. No, actually, I went once, about eight years ago. I know they move a LOT of wine, but, boy, was the selection dull. As one would expect. But that's where the "real" wine business is, the part that actually makes money. Just like the "real" writers who make actual money don't need blogs, they have airports, Amazon and Kindle.<br /><br />Yo Vinny,<br />It's known as Cougar Juice everywhere. No idea who coined the phrase, but I heard it at least six, maybe seven, years ago. Because it's apt, it stuck.Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-51717231464134248042013-09-05T19:51:56.924-07:002013-09-05T19:51:56.924-07:00Men buying Rombauer Chard? Unheard of in DC, where...Men buying Rombauer Chard? Unheard of in DC, where it's known as Cougar Juice.Vin de Terrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12469348262788254687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-59320358051052300302013-09-05T19:42:04.131-07:002013-09-05T19:42:04.131-07:00I could have used this last year at La Toque. Too ...I could have used this last year at La Toque. Too bad Somm In Your Pants™ only runs on iPhone. BTW - I admit, I like buying wine at Costco. Isn't life grand when you can buy a Toasted Head Chard and an 8-foot Plastic Halloween Bat with (freakin') Laser Beam Eyes at the same place?Clinton Starkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10940284151211710001noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-15421514615486925952013-09-05T16:59:21.890-07:002013-09-05T16:59:21.890-07:00Gabe,
Yeah, you're right. I should just be gla...Gabe,<br />Yeah, you're right. I should just be glad we're not engaging in a pointless debate that we'll all forget two minutes after we're done posting, and simply accept the accolade. <br /><br />What the hell's a cell phone?<br /><br />Thomas,<br />No, the dick episodes are Dial MW. Today, I'm a prick. <br /><br />Boner in a Can--it's a lot like Red Bull. Well, the red part of a bull.Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-30929198195612271132013-09-05T16:55:16.243-07:002013-09-05T16:55:16.243-07:00Gabe,
Don't worry about it. Ron's a dick ...Gabe,<br /><br />Don't worry about it. Ron's a dick today.<br /><br />He complains about your response, but the last two of his responses to me mentioned some new soft drink in a can. Or is it a hard drink? I'm confused.Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07322028233207741737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-22757962975677024542013-09-05T16:42:56.932-07:002013-09-05T16:42:56.932-07:00didn't i bother you enough with the parody vs....didn't i bother you enough with the parody vs. satire debate? i assumed you'd be happy that i stopped myself from rambling on about how this blog relates to the digital era of cell phone wine recommendations and just laughed at the punch lines for onceAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13849290999060380035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-87852582664534851772013-09-05T15:53:11.229-07:002013-09-05T15:53:11.229-07:00Gabe,
That's it? You ramble on and on over at ...Gabe,<br />That's it? You ramble on and on over at 1WineDoody, you bluster on STEVE!, you flirt with Luscious Lushes, you canoodle with Dr. Vino, you Wark off regularly, but I only get three lousy words?<br /><br />Some common tater you are.<br /><br />But, thanks, my friend, I appreciate it.Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-64098341548115785532013-09-05T14:37:40.809-07:002013-09-05T14:37:40.809-07:00that was hillariousthat was hillariousAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13849290999060380035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-52801275652871045252013-09-05T14:01:43.285-07:002013-09-05T14:01:43.285-07:00Eric,
When I had a wine shop, I was amazed at how ...Eric,<br />When I had a wine shop, I was amazed at how many men bought wine, then asked if they could pick it up some other time, when their wives weren't home to see them lug it into the house. That's why wine shops with storage areas do so well--a place for the closet wine splurger (Splooger?)to hide his wines is inspired marketing.<br /><br />It seems to be a tradition for men to name things concealed in their pants.<br /><br />Marlene Darling,<br />I may have one you can borrow for as long as you need, though it's currently on loan elsewhere.<br /><br />My wine list had many wines I didn't want on it, but all of them were top sellers. However, the general manager allowed me to have ONE wine left off the list, one wine of my choosing. I chose Rombauer Chardonnay. And when a customer asked why I didn't have Rombauer and the list, I'd say, "Is that some kind of cult wine? I've never heard of it."<br /><br />Thomas,<br />It's a common problem in the sommelier business. Flaccid balance. <br /><br />And I'm surprised, Thomas, that you've forgotten to cure the flaccids with Boner in a Can!Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-45307989163007306282013-09-05T12:22:31.418-07:002013-09-05T12:22:31.418-07:00Love the multiple meanings of the words "a di...Love the multiple meanings of the words "a dick in your pants." <br /><br />Two flaccids in one; instead of just somm in your pants, you can have more in your pants; what did I miss?Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07322028233207741737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-2900079894280786382013-09-05T11:57:19.375-07:002013-09-05T11:57:19.375-07:00Ron, I could use an extra dick in my pants. In fac...Ron, I could use an extra dick in my pants. In fact, I would be happy with just one dick in my pants!<br /><br />And what is the deal with Rombauer?<br />When I was a somm in Laguna Beach and I informed the diner that we did not have Rombauer, he threw a fit. "How could you not have Rombauer?" I tried to mollify him with a lovely Mount Eden Chard, to no avail.<br /><br />I jokingly told my wine buyer to scrounge around for empty Rombauer bottles so we could pour Two Buck Chuck into it. But, it appears that the guy who had been stealing 3 million worth of wine at Legend Cellars was ahead of me with that idea!The Sommelierehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05373623446507975769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-89138979458969255022013-09-05T11:36:45.090-07:002013-09-05T11:36:45.090-07:00Love the observation about spending all one's ...Love the observation about spending all one's disposable income on wine. I have no problem spending thousands (hundreds) on wine, but I can't afford an oil change or, you know, groceries.<br /><br />By the way, I'm naming my Somm In Your Pants Hugh.....Hugh Jerection.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06604810586931098510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-46925047014659192122013-09-05T10:48:19.383-07:002013-09-05T10:48:19.383-07:00Unknown,
Nice! I'm guessing it would mostly be...Unknown,<br />Nice! I'm guessing it would mostly be set to "Vibrate."<br /><br />David,<br />The premise for this piece evolved from about a dozen emails I received, after HoseMaster got "famous" and won Poodles, asking if I'd like to plug wine apps. I'm told there are hundreds of wine apps available, and, as you say, most only sell about ten. So I thought I'd come up with my own wine app, and Somm In Your Pants was born.<br /><br />Let's see, getting over ourselves, sounds like good advice...<br /><br />Bob,<br />Hey, thanks for finally becoming a common tater! Your vision of the future of Somm In Your Pants is perfect. An embedded tongue chip sounds like just the thing, and kinky too. Though, truly, Somm In Your Nose might work even better.<br /><br />Marcia Love,<br />No voices, it's just a text, so as to avoid embarrassment. I just like the idea of a sommelier who looks like Steve Buscemi in a dress. I know one that fits that description. He's kinda cute too.<br /><br />After I wrote this, a person told me of her encounter with a sommelier in a SF restaurant, who, when she expressed dissatisfaction with the sommelier's wine choice, said to her, "Well, maybe you should take some classes so you can describe the kind of wines you like better." It's like she already owned a Somm In Your Pants!<br />Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-29482699776266628772013-09-05T10:43:23.719-07:002013-09-05T10:43:23.719-07:00Fabulous! And I love Steve Buscemi; he's the p...Fabulous! And I love Steve Buscemi; he's the perfect voice (et al) for Somm in your Pants(tm).<br /><br />I notice, however, that your advertisement for this new app has no corresponding female voice for women buyers. (I suspect it would have to be one Samantha Dugan to be effective.)<br /><br />Perhaps the developers of this app assumed that women are completely confident in their wine purchases and would not be their target market? (Of course, that is completely true as well.)<br /><br />Nice going with the non-vintage Rombauer!Marcia Macomberhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07237764449953259939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-36978947047146172222013-09-05T10:27:20.672-07:002013-09-05T10:27:20.672-07:00You have surpassed yourself Ron. In 5 years an imb...You have surpassed yourself Ron. In 5 years an imbedded somm chip 0n your tongue. Say the wine being propsed by the living Somm and the Chip simulates the taste of the wine and register a score on your google classes. Bob MillmanAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14074337005404150140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-25943766472109751122013-09-05T09:53:15.198-07:002013-09-05T09:53:15.198-07:00Over at Winedoody he's deeply humbled that no ...Over at Winedoody he's deeply humbled that no one gives a shit about wine reviews.. what a shocker! As I said before, 99 out of 100 people don't give a shit about wine. And like you asked 200 people at a winery, not one read a wine blog. I think your somm in the pants app while funny, might sell about 10 copies... jeesssuss.. when are these bloggers, wine mag reviewers and somms going to get over themselves??Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11992278224164669829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-86551704738313116982013-09-05T09:27:27.736-07:002013-09-05T09:27:27.736-07:00Ron:
I know everything about wine already. That...Ron:<br />I know everything about wine already. That's how boring I am. But I really don't get how to communicate these days with Twitter, Facebook, and all the rest. What we REALLY need is a Communications advisor in our pants - yes, you got it - COMM in your pants!!Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05829199334514536430noreply@blogger.com