tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post960039562465484710..comments2024-02-25T02:50:53.858-08:00Comments on HoseMaster of Wine™: BLANDNESSRon Washam, HMWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-42954708415887747862010-04-29T13:05:21.537-07:002010-04-29T13:05:21.537-07:00Ron,
Thanks much, I would be honored to stick aro...Ron,<br /><br />Thanks much, I would be honored to stick around and will surely enjoy having peanuts thrown at me. Bound to be less scarring and blood than the missiles and arrows I'm used to.Davenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-48968296025334689312010-04-26T09:10:12.853-07:002010-04-26T09:10:12.853-07:00Hey Dave,
Enlightening thoughts. Why aren't y...Hey Dave,<br /><br />Enlightening thoughts. Why aren't you here contributing more often? You have a future as a member of the HoseMaster peanut gallery.<br /><br />Thanks for chiming in. Nicely done.Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-56337492758146580952010-04-24T11:25:00.607-07:002010-04-24T11:25:00.607-07:00Honorable HoseMaster Sir,
I believe you may be o...Honorable HoseMaster Sir, <br /><br />I believe you may be on to something and fear it may be just the tip of the icecube. Turning all the wine bloggers into 89ers is just the first, and easiest step since the label can also be applied to the upper limit of the requisite IQ scale.<br /><br />What's next? Why the Arizonification of varietals and their clones of course. I can just see the CA National Guard being called out to stop every suspicious trucker hauling alien grapes... "Hmmm, them shore don't look like cab (or chard, or merlot) in those trailers, boy. You haulin' some of that socialist sangiovese or nebbiolo? Gonna have to take you in."<br /><br />I would love to contribute to your donations to the blooger awards but having spend a month this past week rearranging all the words in "Blandness" to form a coherent sentence and staying up night after night trying to figure out who the hell saramago is and why ee cummings did that to his name and the remainder of this post i have been unable to locate anymore commas to add to the collection however i did come up with quite a few comas i will gladly return for your use (approximately 89 of them i believe at last count).Davenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-46876826558898588412010-04-21T20:04:57.641-07:002010-04-21T20:04:57.641-07:00this popped blood vessel in my eye stings.this popped blood vessel in my eye stings.Joehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11188665746443591632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-40440669673137593382010-04-21T00:19:51.974-07:002010-04-21T00:19:51.974-07:00And you said you don't take the easy ones...And you said you don't take the easy ones...Samantha Duganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05214278596698698245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-79651023767967366442010-04-20T19:47:14.698-07:002010-04-20T19:47:14.698-07:00Thomas,
Joyce mixed with cummings? Hmm, sounds li...Thomas,<br /><br />Joyce mixed with cummings? Hmm, sounds like a porn title.Ron Washamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10386836101202976147noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-36782527921088875022010-04-20T15:03:29.169-07:002010-04-20T15:03:29.169-07:00Ron,
Not swearing off--waking up!
I began to fee...Ron,<br /><br />Not swearing off--waking up!<br /><br />I began to feel like Bill Murray in a small town in Pennsylvania on a cold February day, and worse, I wanted to do to everyone what Bill did to the insurance man, but I wanted to use a sledge hammer, and I'm a pacifist...was.<br /><br />If you do Joyce mix it with some cummings--that way you can forgo the upper case and even forget the many commas, which makes writing so much easier, don't you think?Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07322028233207741737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-84718700264748037402010-04-20T08:58:07.399-07:002010-04-20T08:58:07.399-07:00Ron
what can I say, but...
Yes! Yes! Yes!Ron<br /><br />what can I say, but...<br />Yes! Yes! Yes!Alfonso Cevolahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16983431475848714789noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-80350622044781146372010-04-20T08:33:59.000-07:002010-04-20T08:33:59.000-07:00Thomas,
Thank you. Swearing off is hard. I know, ...Thomas,<br /><br />Thank you. Swearing off is hard. I know, I am the king of Hiatuses (of is that King of Haiti?). Moderation is the best course. Comment now and then, just never get involved in the same tiresome back and forths. Anyhow, thanks for the breaking your silence here.<br /><br />Alfonso,<br /><br />Oh, then I guess I shouldn't do my James Joyce parody next.Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-35802346084800265192010-04-20T07:17:54.700-07:002010-04-20T07:17:54.700-07:00It was equally difficult to understand this post a...It was equally difficult to understand this post as any Saramago book I have read, so I guess you have been successful in emulating his style.Alfonso Cevolahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16983431475848714789noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-45285455506174169012010-04-20T06:05:55.019-07:002010-04-20T06:05:55.019-07:00Ron,
For now, I've sworn off most blog commen...Ron,<br /><br />For now, I've sworn off most blog commenting, but you are making it difficult for me.<br /><br />This entry was fun to read.Thomashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07322028233207741737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-68133834876414626842010-04-19T21:50:33.786-07:002010-04-19T21:50:33.786-07:00John,
I don't know where the idea for this po...John,<br /><br />I don't know where the idea for this post came from, honestly, except that I love Saramago, think he is one of our greatest writers, living or dead, and I wanted to try his style. Of course, I don't have the talent to carry his jock strap, but it was completely invigorating and fun to do. Saramago always works from an amazing and unbelievable premise and then writes brilliant parables. His most recent book in translation, "Death With Interruptions," begins, "The following day, no one died." I stole that opening and then used the premise, perhaps not so unbelievable, of all wines tasting the same and imagined what Saramago would do with that premise. But only Saramago can truly write like Saramago; I almost feel like my work is insulting to him.<br /><br />For those of you who haven't read Saramago, the long sentences filled with commas and dialogue are his trademark. It looks daunting on the page, but is entirely engrossing in his hands.<br /><br />The more I learn to just write what's fun for me to write the more I enjoy this stupid blogging thing. I like to think that HoseMaster is a wee bit more unpredictable than the "leading" wine blogs. Unpredictable, and more fun. There are hundreds and hundreds of dreadfully sanctimonious, predictable and thoughtless wine blogs. Just shoot me when I join their ranks.<br /><br />Tamara Darling,<br /><br />I love you!<br /><br />Shucks, you made my day. Thank you for your kind words. Saramago is brilliant. I'm unworthy of that adjective, but honored to have you believe I am.Ron Washam, HMWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11238869156614617705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-32353885862582695632010-04-19T19:23:31.056-07:002010-04-19T19:23:31.056-07:00BTW - I like Saramago in translation anyway but I ...BTW - I like Saramago in translation anyway but I think my acceptance of him as a great writer might brand me as a heterodox in certain circles, so maybe I need to rethink my position.John M. Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18343670865804216103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-59951521042131469062010-04-19T19:14:32.662-07:002010-04-19T19:14:32.662-07:00Jeez, Ron - this is good; I think I'm starting...Jeez, Ron - this is good; I think I'm starting to hate you, but I'll get over it. Wow.John M. Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18343670865804216103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-6147810198123926652010-04-19T15:56:21.452-07:002010-04-19T15:56:21.452-07:00I can't wait to show it to my husband, who lov...I can't wait to show it to my husband, who loves wine but only loves my wine blog, who also is my unofficial editor and official hater and giver of grief for production of run-on sentences and overindulgence of commas. Thanks, now I can point to you and see "look, he did it". Did anybody count how many commas (89, 90?)? <br /><br />Btw, did I ever tell you I think you're brilliant and I love the way your wicked mind works (and I don't say that to all the boys either!)? One more thing, I really prefer "Darling" to "Sippy", definitely not a baby's cup, though I am known to spill now and often?Sip with Me!https://www.blogger.com/profile/01396446937839484772noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-31708737821267155842010-04-19T15:25:03.724-07:002010-04-19T15:25:03.724-07:00Ron
This is perfect for my time here at the Vegas ...Ron<br />This is perfect for my time here at the Vegas airport. I love few things as much as a good run on sentence.<br />-Amywinebookgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01108898075062843791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-48389595207309241892010-04-19T12:50:31.517-07:002010-04-19T12:50:31.517-07:00Oh
My
God....
Someone that uses more commas than ...Oh<br />My <br />God....<br />Someone that uses more commas than I do, didn't think that was even possible. <br /><br />I know you hate this kid but, this is a really great piece of work, loved it.Samantha Duganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05214278596698698245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-42003549979792125222010-04-19T12:45:23.681-07:002010-04-19T12:45:23.681-07:00Ernest Daddy,
Wrong writer. I don't do Heming...Ernest Daddy,<br /><br />Wrong writer. I don't do Hemingway parodies. Too easy. I go for other Nobel Prize winners. But yours was quite good, though you left out bullfighting and impotence and Boner in a Can.<br /><br />Sippy,<br /><br />Style is everything. Punctuation is highly overrated. And thank you for the sweet words. I wrote this one strictly for myself, and, will confess that I am proud of it. Maybe the first time I've ever said that about a HoseMaster post.<br /><br />TFlemingo,<br /><br />Well, also like a marriage, you're avoiding a period.Ron Washamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10386836101202976147noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-61957537547091666182010-04-19T12:28:37.288-07:002010-04-19T12:28:37.288-07:00I rate this post at 890,001 points.I rate this post at 890,001 points.Points Daddynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-52398882924163863902010-04-19T12:27:39.323-07:002010-04-19T12:27:39.323-07:00I once read a Hemingway novel, probably for Whom T...I once read a Hemingway novel, probably for Whom The Bell Tolls because I was on my way to Spain and I did not want to sit in my tiny, cramped seat doing nothing for seventeen hours while the Captain and the stewardesses frolicked up in the cabin with the plane on automatic pilot and I, sitting there in a stupor as if on automatic pilot even though I wasn't and I need to pee but the fat lady next to me was asleep and I could not climb over her without stepping on her protruding bustle, so I read the book and I was amazed that this book about war and people dying and love and a thousand ways to love without actually touching the object of your affection but then giving in and getting her preggers just so you could die at the end of the book, and it was all written in one long sentence as only Hemingway could write and I read it all and it only took 17 hours because I lost my place once when the fat lady rolled over and knocked the book on the floor and passed gas and I was rendered unconscious, only to recover some few hours later but I had lost my place and had to start over.<br /><br />I once read a Hemingway novel, probably for Whom The Bell Tolls because I was on my way to Spain and I did not want to sit in my tiny, cramped seat doing nothing for seventeen hours while the Captain and the stewardesses frolicked up in the cabin with the plane on automatic pilot and I, sitting there in a stupor as if on automatic pilot even though I wasn't and I need to pee but the fat lady next to me was asleep and I could not climb over her without stepping on her protruding bustle, so I read the book and I was amazed that this book about war and people dying and love and a thousand ways to love without actually touching the object of your affection but then giving in and getting her preggers just so you could die at the end of the book, and it was all written in one long sentence as only Hemingway could write and I read it all and it only took 17 hours because I lost my place once when the fat lady rolled over and knocked the book on the floor and passed gas and I was rendered unconscious, only to recover some few hours later but I had lost my place and had to start over.Ernest Daddynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-19852582348519233202010-04-19T09:58:18.195-07:002010-04-19T09:58:18.195-07:00Never have I read such beautiful and magnetic run-...Never have I read such beautiful and magnetic run-on sentences that left me spellbound and smirking (probably for at least another 89, no 90 minutes)! ;)Sip with Me!https://www.blogger.com/profile/01396446937839484772noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6745003136564123305.post-77183995239216792632010-04-19T09:47:32.571-07:002010-04-19T09:47:32.571-07:00And I thought my marriage was the longest sentence...And I thought my marriage was the longest sentence...anyway, nice Rosenblum review!Nosh Gnostichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09903701073242931822noreply@blogger.com