HoseMaster of Wine™

"Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine."--Fran Lebowitz

Monday, April 22, 2019

Reasons You Failed Your Master Sommelier Exams

During the service exam, you stuck your tongue into the neck of the wine bottle you’d just opened and moaned, “Oh, God, I love you, Letti...

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

The HoseMaster of Wine's™ Commencement Speech for the Shemp Howard Wine, Food and Dog Grooming Institute

Inspired by reading Karen MacNeil's commencement speech to grads of the C.I.A., a speech about "the last true things" (so, y...

Monday, April 15, 2019

Proper Etiquette For Taking Your Own Wine Into a Restaurant

This is a piece written as a reaction to Matt Walls' piece on TimAtkin.com about the tired old subject of corkage fees. Just wha...

Tuesday, April 9, 2019

Worst Wine Marketing Slogans

Wine as natural as asphalt. Your wine tasting experience isn’t complete until you visit wine country’s only vomitorium! Our wines are...

Monday, April 1, 2019

The HoseMaster of Wine™ Solves the Enduring Mysteries of Wine

I wasn't able to solve ALL of the enduring mysteries of wine. Many simply remain mysteries. Like why anyone reads wine blogs. Or why Es...

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About Me

Ron Washam, HMW: After 19 years as a Sommelier in Los Angeles, twice named Sommelier of the Year by the Southern California Restaurant Writers' Association, I moved to Sonoma County to explore the other aspects of the wine business. I've spent, OK wasted, 35 years learning about and teaching about and swallowing wine. I am also a judge at the Sonoma Harvest Fair, San Francisco Chronicle Wine Competition and the San Francisco International Wine Competition--so I can spit like a rabid llama. I know more about wine than David Sedaris and I'm funnier than James Laube. Stay tuned for an informed but jaded view of everything wine and everything else.

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