Monday, September 26, 2016

Donald Trump, Your New Emperor of Wine, Explains His Rating System


I’m doing a fantastic job as the new Emperor of Wine. Fantastic. The wine business has never been more honest, folks. It’s not exactly a secret that wine reviewing is completely corrupt. I mean, there are publications giving scores to wine that don’t accept advertising! I’m not kidding. Not a single advertisement. Not for wine, not for cars, not for jewelry. Nothing. That’s not the America we want to live in. You can’t trust a magazine that doesn’t take advertising. I think that’s obvious. Ask yourself, where does a publication that doesn’t accept advertising get its money? Not from subscriptions, that’s crazy. You can’t make money from subscriptions. There’s no tax breaks for subscriptions, and that’s where the money is, believe me. I’ll tell you where they get the money, folks. The Saudis.


Well, before the days of Trump are done this November, I thought I'd run this bit into the ground. Only this time the rest of the piece is over at the Wine Journal, part of the Wine Advocate's new free content site. Hey, they pay me, which is more than you can say. I won a damn writing award! Time to sell out!

Comments aren't allowed there, they probably can't afford a fulltime moderator to keep out the haters, so return here, if is suits you, to do your common tatering. I appreciate it. Now go!

WA WINE JOURNAL

7 comments:

  1. Dean,
    Fantastic. You're Fantastic. You're brilliant. You remind me of Putin. You're a more than 750ml, my friend, you're a great Liter.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Liters in power corrupt....Absolute liters in power corrupt absolutely...

    The role of the wine journalist is to comfort the afflicted wines and afflict the comfortable wines.

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  3. Nailed it, once again. No wonder you won that Roadie Award.

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  4. You're yuuuuuge! Best Trumping ever. And I know. Trust me.

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  5. I wonder how Trump would rate his latest find, the world-renowned wine from the Burgundy region My Con -- FEELY-PUSSY!!!

    ReplyDelete