What We're Reading

Compiled by the editors of HoseMaster of Wine™

DECANTER: The magazine’s recent decision to use the 100 Point Scale when reviewing wines is graciously explained in a post entitled, “Taking it Up the Arse From Parker.” In the same issue, Gerald Asher explores the history of orange wines in “We Love the Smell of Arse in the Morning.” Asher explains the role of Cistercian monks in the creation of orange wines, noting that the aromas “reminded them of their early days in the church being buggered, a term that can be applied to those who purchase today’s orange wines.”

STEVE!: Nothing that happens in Oakland escapes Steve Heimoff’s attention, and in a recent post he writes about the resurgence of the Oakland A’s and how it relates to wine. “With wine, as with baseball, it doesn’t matter how big your budget is,” he writes in his signature haven’t-really-thought-it-through style, “we all come to play with our own balls.” The analogy loses some steam, though, when he begins to talk about being successful with men in scoring position.

WALL STREET JOURNAL: Jay McInerney writes a compelling and compassionate article “What the Poor People Are Drinking” in which he blind tastes wines under $40. “I felt so dirty,” he writes, “and so grateful that no one could see the labels of what was inside those brown bags; and yet now I understand the shame the average working man feels having to serve these wines to family and friends. I can’t get the taste of failure out of my mouth.” Lettie Teague has an interesting article on coasters.

1WINEDOODY: In his most fascinating video post yet, Joe Roberts uses Rock’em Sock’em Robots to explain the effects of high alcohol in wines, which he seems to be suffering from in the video. The effect is also aptly demonstrated when he drops his trousers, bends over, and reTweets.

WINE SPECTATOR: James Laube writes a fascinating editorial about “Personality in Wine” and how he’s never had any. The editors look at “Ten Virginia Wineries to Watch” and come up with three. Matt Kramer wonders at the recent California foie gras ban and fears that the same lawmakers will ban Wine Spectator for “similarly shoving absolute crap down people’s throats for years.” Tim Fish on the wine industry’s most important discovery--cardboard.

FOODANDWINE: Wine editor Ray Isle on why supermarket wines are best recommended by supermarket magazines. Turns out it’s like owning a pub near the circus—“if you set the bar too high, it offends the midgets.” Cleanup on Isle four, please. And the results of a Reader Survey answered by their subscriber.

SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE: Jon Bonne remarks on the newest trend in San Francisco restaurants, Transgender Sommeliers. “They seem to have a special affinity for orange wines,” he writes. Also, the Chronicle Tasting Panel sorts through the current trend of lower alcohol in wine, finding that, “not only do the wines express their terroir more intensely, you can refill your car battery with the leftovers.”

VORNOGRAPHY:  Alder makes the case for his inclusion in the Vintners Hall of Fame. “Please make sure and cast your ballots for whomever you think deserves the honor, Robert Parker or some damn Mirassou or other, but if you can find it in your heart, I’d appreciate a write-in vote. I’ll be there some day anyway, I’d just like to enjoy the honor sooner rather than later. I’m the greatest living wine blogger, and a gift to the wine industry.” Gerald Asher responds, “AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! My eyes, my eyes, I’m struck blind!”

WINE AND SPIRITS: Joshua Greene uncovers the allure of Greek wines, “although” he writes, “alcohol was banned in my college fraternity.” Patrick Comiskey sees the future of Washington wines, and it is Lemberger. “It’s rough, it’s harsh, it’s graceless, it’s everything I like in wine. A dead ringer for its cousin Danberger.”