Shut up about alcohol levels, for Christ’s sake. You don’t know what you’re talking about. And what ABV (Alcohol By Verisimilitude) is it that you’re referring to, the number listed on the label? Moron. Those numbers aren’t real, they’re imaginary, guesses made the same way contestants make pricing guesses on “The Price is Right”—they try to take a shot without going over the actual retail alcohol level. Taking the alcohol listed on the label seriously is like believing the guy’s height or the woman’s weight on Match.com. How stupid are you? The wine is always going to be shorter and fatter than you expected.
For more suggestions about what to avoid writing about on your Stupid Wine Blog, head over to Tim Atkin's award-winning site. And don't forget to add your own insights about topics you'd rather never see again on wine blogs, either at Tim's, or, for those of you cyber-challenged, right here on HoseMaster of Wine™.
TIM ATKIN M.W.
Why doesn’t HoseMaster of Wine™ have a Wikipedia page? I wonder about this. There is no end of worthless crap listed on Wikipedia, why not HoseMaster? Who do I talk to about this? Is there a Sultan of Wikipedia who decides this stuff? I don’t really understand how Wikipedia works. Are there any standards? Are there topics that are turned down that are too stupid for Wikipedia? Doesn’t seem like it. Unless HoseMaster of Wine™ was. That might make sense. This shit bothers me.