Tuesday, January 2, 2018

The Future of Wine (1988)

When I first began blogging about wine back in 1988, there wasn’t even an internet. The whole world was like North Korea, except with dogs. That didn’t stop me from writing a weekly blog about wine. (I’m actually the person who came up with the word “blog,” which was based on the noise my stomach made when I sat down to write. I also coined “tweet,” which had to do with flatulence, and, given the 45th President, has never been more appropriate.) Without the internet, my blog (I was then the “HoseApprentice of Wine™”) wasn’t widely read. So nothing has changed.

I must say, my predictions for 30 years in the future are astonishingly accurate. Maybe I should take a whack at 2048. What do I care about 2048? I'll be either dead, or 96, or both. To read my prescient 20th Century remarks, you'll have to head to Tim Atkin's site. It's a New Year, friends! Let's celebrate with lots of clever remarks and witty banter over on Tim's. Or, if you're shy about appearing in front of a live audience, leave your thoughts here. I promise not to read them!



Ziggy said...

2048 will be be the 1st vintage from the recently designated appellation on Mars.
It'll be Laube's territory - reporting wise.

BTW, a nice start to the new year, Hose.

Ron Washam, HMW said...

I think Laube is already reporting from Mars.

Happy New Year, Zig! Thanks for being a common tater.

The Billion Dollar Biller said...

As the self appointed master of the wine universe, you should know that wine and politics are a bad mix, i.e. we don't care about, or want to know, your political opinions. You just offended half of your audience and probably don't even know it, or don't care.

Ron Washam, HMW said...

BD Biller,
As self-appointed anonymous common tater, you should know that satire aims at being offensive much of the time. I've often mixed politics with wine, and while that might seem like a bad mix, as it turns out, the two topics have more in common that one might think.

I've probably offended almost everyone in my audience at some point in the past six years, including myself. Satire needs to be fearless and opinionated, or it is utterly worthless. I manage to be both fearless and worthless--no mean feat. Also, one has to have a thick skin to write this sort of crap. Or a thick skull. I have both.

Thank you for chiming in. I honestly appreciate it. Satire's aim is to make one examine their reactions to the buffonery, whether it's laughter, disgust, or offense. I'm used to getting all three reactions. What offends you probably pleases someone else. But to think that my personal views and politics are present is a mistake. I write a character. Hating him is part of the fun.

jock said...

You're slipping. I look yo you to get ahead of the curve but your last paragraph predicts what has already happened. It's called "natural wine."

Samantha Dugan said...

Ron My Love,
I sincerely doubt you have offended half of any group as the majority of us fully understand this blog. That said, I think it sexy when you talk liberal leaning! RAWR.
So nice to read you at the start of what I hope to be a much better year.
I love you

Ron Washam, HMW said...

My Gorgeous Samantha,
Oh, you know I love that RAWR, Baby. Though it's better in person.

I love you, too. Just seeing you here means 2018 is off to the perfect start.