Monday, June 2, 2014

Goode Grief--Natural Opinions, Unfiltered and Slightly Fecal

What's the old saying about opinions? They're like STD's, everybody's got one. Well, after a recent post by Jamie Goode on his weirdly popular blog, in which Mr. Goode courageously stated his radical-as-a-turnip opinions, I got to thinking about some of my own unfiltered, unrefined opinions about the world of wine. I'm certain most of you will agree my opinions are brilliant, well-founded, and original. The rest of you are simpletons. But you'll have to jump over to Tim Atkin's award-winning site to read them.

Feel free to leave comments over at Tim's, or, if you are unable to write in English, feel free to leave your jibber jabber here where I can translate it without making you look foolish. As if.



Marcia Macomber said...

Unfined and unfiltered they are today! I think this post will stun those on the other side of the pond today. They're just not used to so many funny lines coming at 'em so fast.

Ron Washam, HMW said...

Marcia Love,
I read that piece by Jamie Goode, purporting to be candid and "unfiltered," and I laughed at the timidity of the whole thing. That's what triggered the post over at Tim's. Tim and I are kindred spirits, I think, guys who like to rattle cages. Mr. Goode's needs a lot of rattling.

My hunch is the piece will be ignored. I'd prefer stunned, but no matter. Though, actually, I'd really prefer laughter.

Quiet around here...makes me nervous.

Samantha Dugan said...

Ron My Love,
But, but, he's a Wine Blog Award winner! See this is what happens when you go reading wine blogs again, lucky for us. Oh and remind me to never again send you Chablis! I love you!

Unknown said...

I didn't find that column to be all that satirical. A bit biting, sure, but had the that slightly barnyard, loamy stench of truth! :)

Oh, and I loved the bio on that site (sorry I hadn't read you over there before) that you're a judge in formerly prestigious competitions and that you dominate the swimsuit category. Good Stuff!

(Thanks to Sam for introducing me to your musings)

Ron Washam, HMW said...

My Gorgeous Samantha,
Mr. Goode has written some worthwhile books, especially about the chemistry of winemaking. His blog, on the other hand, is drivel. So he was a shoe-in for a Poodle.

Chablis? Isn't that just French Chardonnay? Who needs it?

I love you!

Ah yes, the stench of truth. And the truth of stench! Life is a mystery, isn't it.

Welcome to the common taters, Dale. You know Samantha. The rest of the gang is nice, too. Well, most of them...

Samantha Dugan said...

Ron My Love,
Who needs Chablis? I would say there are shit load of California Chardonnay producers that do, who else would they, wrongly, compare themselves to....over and over again? And before anyone goes jumping on my neck, I say it's wrong for two reasons, one it isn't anything like Chablis and two, and most importantly, be proud of the wines you make here. If you make a lush style California Chardonnay say that, if you make a lean, or stainless Chardonnay say that. I may not be a California wine drinker but I am a California girl and I am damned proud of the wines we produce here. World class, without question, so the comparisons are actually kind of insulting when you think about it.
End Rant.
I love you.
PS Hey Dale!

Unknown said...

I love the line "wine competitions are like early pregnancy tests..." Makes me smile.

Ron Washam, HMW said...

My Gorgeous Samantha,
I was hoping you'd rant a bit about Chablis. But you forgot to mention "minerality." Like when California Chardonnay guys say their wines show great minerality, like Chablis. That always made me laugh.

I've always wondered who the marketing guy was who came up with the idea to call cheap CA white wine "Chablis." He was a genius. We're still talking about his marketing idea today, which is pretty impressive. And he'd have been the first guy to recognize the marketing genius of "In Pursuit of Balance." Wines may have changed, but misrepresentation of them never will.

See you later, Gorgeous!

Thanks. I expect it's a line that will be regularly stolen.

Charlie Olken said...

Re pregnancy tests.

I always thought that all a winery needed to do was to put a couple of gold medals on its labels without saying where they were from. Who the hell knows Riverside from Orange County from Sierra Foothills from Reno from the family dog tags?

Jamie Goode said...

'Drivel'? That's a bit harsh isn't it, Ron? I shall try harder.

Ron Washam, HMW said...

Mr. Goode,
No, I'd say it's very harsh. But I apply the same standards to many wine bloggers, including myself.

I never expect anyone I've lampooned to be happy about it. That would mean utter failure on my part. But, as a satirist/comedy writer/no-talent who thinks he's funny, I really just used your rather innocuous post as a launching pad for insulting a lot of wine writers who deem themselves Unquestionable Authorities. I call them the Wine Vampire set--I can hold a mirror right up to their faces, and they see nothing. Though, actually, they may be seeing correctly. Take a large dose of what they've written, and, indeed, it's mostly nothing to look at.

You don't need to try harder, Mr. Goode, I do. You're successful and much-admired, a perfect cog in the long tradition of wine writing. I admire your books, and have them in my library. I'm no one. Just an old sommelier/comedy writer who knows pretension and toeing the wine party line when he sees it, and has the balls to say so.

But please accept a sincere thank you for commenting.