It’s about time…
Someone has finally threatened the HoseMaster of Wine™. For this post on Tim Atkin's award-winning site. Me, a lowly, bottom-feeding satirist, threatened by a billionaire glass blower. It’s the stuff of comedy, ladies and gentlemen.
And yet it’s not. The world’s most important Austrian since a guy named Adolf is upset because I wrote a satirical piece about his company. Hey, Georg, it’s what I do! It’s what I’ve been doing here for the past six years. I’ve insulted better people than you. Next time you tour around this great country of ours peddling your glassware to the intellectually challenged, ask a few folks about that damned First Amendment. It’s pretty funny in its own right.
So here’s the letter I received:
When you purchase Riedel or Spiegelau stems for your restaurant, winery or use at home, please bear in mind whom you’re supporting. A bully. A humorless, unpleasant bully. There are perfectly brilliant alternatives. Consider them. Buy them. Your Riedels will be broken soon, aren’t they always?, replace them with another brand.
I’ve been accused, now and then, of being a bully. I’m not. I write satire. Bullies try to intimidate folks they view as beneath them, people they see as weaklings. I’ve spent most of my time here satirizing those who believe they are better than the rest of us. The best people have laughed along with me. And then there is Mr. Riedel. Mr. Riedel apparently believes that my couple of thousand page views will be damaging to his company. He flatters me. I won’t return the compliment.
And I’ve set up a HoseMaster of Wine™ Defense Fund. Yes! You can donate to support the HoseMaster. Hell, if Randall Grahm can do it, why can’t I? I’m every bit as nuts. And all of you can strike a small blow for freedom of expression, for satire, for this guy who’s made you laugh every week for six years. Consider donating.
HoseMaster of Wine™ Defense Fund
Thank you. I appreciate any kind of support you can give me.
Also, if you are able, please post this piece on as many social media sites as you can. I think folks should be able to witness the tactics of Riedel, judge for themselves the sort of people who are profiting from those $100 glasses from which you’re drinking your cult wines. Plaster it all over FaceBook, make it trend on Twitter. Have fun with it.