Monday, December 19, 2016

What to Buy Your Master Sommelier for Christmas!

If you’re like me, right about now you’re wondering what to buy for the Master Sommelier in your life for Christmas. There are 230 Master Sommeliers in the world. Though it’s possible the one in the Philippines was shot by the President. Oh, yes, it’s true. You always Duterte the one you love. One down, 229 to go. Those 207 men, and 23 of these other kind of people, not sure what they are really, but they smell good, how did they get their pins again?, can be difficult to buy gifts for. They’re picky by nature. For example, most of them will only put their nose in a fine Burgundy, a Grower Champagne, and Fred Dame.

Holiday shopping is coming down to the wire. I have a few ideas for you for what to buy for that persnickety Master Sommelier on your Christmas list. The catalog is over at the Wine Advocate's newish Wine Journal site. Grab your Apple pay and head on over there. No comments allowed over there, but feel free to return and leave your milk, cookies and automatic weapons here for good ol' Santa Hose.

Have a Merry Christmas, everyone!  

Thank you for your support of my stupid blog throughout 2016. Perhaps in 2017 I'll get it right. Don't bet on it!



Bob Henry said...

How 'bout some lapel pin polish:

(A penny for your thoughts.)

Samantha Dugan said...

Ron My Love,
I'm so fucking confused, talking to some Master Sommeliers one is often left to believe that they are God's gift to us. Truth be told, I'm not with or against them, can't bring myself to care enough either way. That said, I can think of two people I know studying right now that act like they are in absolute, unholy misery trying to get those pins....anything that makes wine miserable for me, well that's something I've no use for. Akin to humping James Suckling or Trumplthinskin to me. Yuck.
This was hilarious Love
I love you!

Ron Washam, HMW said...

My Gorgeous Samantha,
I don't really care about MSs either way myself. I was going to write a Christmas gift guide for the general public, but then I liked the idea of writing it specifically for Master Sommeliers. I do like the Wine Writer Bobbleheads though. One of the HoseMaster would be cool! And what says Christmas more than giving heads?

Glad you like the piece, Love. Always makes me happy when you like them.

I love you, too!

Bob Henry said...


Where have you been? There already is a HoseMaster of Wine bobblehead:

(Or is that Russ Parsons?)

~~ Bob

Bob Henry said...

Echoing Samantha's sentiment . . .

When the Los Angeles Times staff reporter Corie Brown investigated (circa 2007) Master Sommelier aspirants here in La-La-Land, she recited this glum statistic:

". . . the London-based organization's final exam has a 97% failure rate."

And passed along the following grousing:

"There is plenty of private complaining about the perceived politics of these tests. To some, it appears that the pass rate of 3% is artificially low. Swelling the ranks of credentialed master sommeliers could lessen the value of being a member of the club."


Achieving the M.S. pin is an example of what marketing guru Seth Godin has labeled "The Dip."

If the deprivation and postponed gratification necessary to attain a career ambition is too much to tolerate, then quit. (No shame in that.)

But if you persevere and land on the other side of "The Dip," the world is your proverbial oyster.

You stand among a small and elite group of achievers who boast world-class status.

Welcome to the world of being (a fraction of) a One Percenter.

[Executive summary:]

Martin said...

Wine Writer Bobbleheads! LOL, what an idea! Oh that I should ever be famous enough for there to one made of me!
Martin Moran

Ron Washam, HMW said...

Plenty of Dips in the MS community.

Wine Writer Bobbleheads would be great giveaways at trade events! Get better attendance. People love the Bobbleheads. "Come to VinExpo! First 1000 attendees get a collectible Robert Parker bobblehead." Tell me that wouldn't pack 'em in.

Bob Henry said...

How 'bout giving out wine writer inflatable boxing clowns? (Is that a redundant statement?)

Ron Washam, HMW said...

Oh, man, you reminded me, I'm about due for Wine Writers in Hell Act 6! Dammit. Ah, well, something for the New Year.

Merry Christmas!