Monday, May 7, 2018

Erotica for the Natural Wine Lover

He was the most handsome man in the bar. I knew he was the one when he walked over to the jukebox and selected my favorite song—The Police’s “Qvevri Little Thing She Does is Magic.”

He caught my eye and then casually took the bar stool next to mine and introduced himself.

“Hello,” he said, “I’m Nat. I’m hoping you want me to be your Pet.”

We've all got our kinks. I've long been a fan of erotica, whether written by Anaïs Nin or Steve Bannon, so I thought I'd try my hand at arousing the partisans of natural wine. God knows, they seem so joyless, it might help. You can read the dirty stuff at Tim Atkin's site, the home of wine erotica. Feel free to leave your breathless and satisfied comments at Tim's site, or, if it makes you hot, return here, have a satisfying smoke, and lay your thoughts on me. I need a cold shower. Or any shower, for that matter.



Unknown said...

Deliciously vicious!

Mark Rader said...

Having just read “Erotica for the Natural Wine Lover” I have a thought. Have you considered treatment with one of the chlorpromazines—you know, stellazine, compazine—any of the antipsychotics really. I think one of them might help a lot. Besides, knowing me as well as you do for as long as you have you know that I am totally serious.

Jet Fuel said...

Makes me crave damp and yeasty....

Marcia Macomber said...


Ron Washam, HMW said...

I wasn't aiming so much at vicious as I was at absurdity, which is the standard bearer of the natural wine argument. But I'll take it.

I am taking the Trump antipsychotic medication, MAGAzine. My subscription is about up, though.

I think Mark was writing to you.

Marcia Love,
Well, thank you!