Monday, March 4, 2019

How I Taste

Admittedly, that's a scary blog post title. Maybe one that John Wayne Bobbitt might use. Though I understand his wife was under a gag order, so maybe not. No matter. As a recovering sommelier, I have often been asked how to taste wine. I think everyone has to learn their own way of tasting wine, but, as a matter of interest, I thought folks might like to know how the HoseMaster of Wine™ tastes wine. I wouldn't recommend my techniques for beginners, meaning those studying for the Master Sommelier pin. 

The first part is posted here, but to read about my legendary wine tasting technique in its entirety, you'll have to take the quantum leap over to Tim Atkin's wonderful, newly remodeled site. I particularly like new sauna, and indoor bullfighting arena. I would encourage you to leave your usual witticisms and ill-fitting toreador pants on Tim's site. But, if you must, feel free to leave comments here, right behind the newly reupholstered Jancis Robinson shrine.

The first, and maybe most important, step is to put on my tasting clothes. You cannot produce consistent tasting notes wearing different clothes all the time. Duh. The best critics know this, which explains why Richard Hemming MW is always in a ball gown. You just can’t underdress for the finest wineries. Wearing a different set of clothing for different varieties is acceptable, however. For example, if you want to wear a track suit every time you taste Merlot, that’s fine. Merlot is Old Man Wine anyway, so a track suit makes sense. A pee stain is a nice touch.



Ziggy said...

"I exclusively use Riedel Pompous Ass™ Stemware, the all-purpose Douchebag model"

A classic HoseMaster comment. Pure Hose.

I'm glad that I wasn't in the middle of swallowing my Hearty Burgundy or it would've done a reversal back thru the nose. yuck


Ron Washam, HMW said...

Just you and me here. Well, if anyone is going to make a classic HoseMaster comment, I guess it's going to be me. Thanks for being a common tater, and for reading, and for showing up at the after party. Not sure what I'm going to do with the rest of the dip.

David said...

Well Ron, there's probably a Riedel glass for that too - Riedel pompous nutsack dip glass.
Thanks for the giggling and chuckles you continously provoke from my upper belly region - Oh wait. That might just be a bit of Suckling pig from last night. So many point to digest...


Ron Washam, HMW said...

You're welcome. Thanks for reading, and for being a loyal common tater. No more Riedel for me, I'm switching to the all-purpose Jancis Robinson glass, otherwise known as a glass.