Monday, May 13, 2019

Failed Master of Wine Dissertations

Stuff I think about...

The Paris Tasting of 1976: Who the Fuck Cares

The Effect of Climate Change on BevMo’s Five Cent Sale

Vineyard Dogs: Their Effect on Sales, and Why They Do That Thing With Their Legs When You Scratch Their Stomach Just Like Angelo Gaja Does

Natural Wine: Does All That Hair Get Stuck in Your Teeth

Sommeliers on Tinder: Always Pick the Second Cheapest One

Champagne: How They Missed the Boat on the Charmat Process

Do Sexually Suggestive Wine Labels Sell More Wine to Stupid People, Drunk People or People With Serious Signs of Traumatic Brain Injury

If Tastebuds Were on Your Nipples, Would Wines Smell Better Cold

Are Wines Really All That Different: I Can’t Tell Them Apart and Neither Can You

Women in Wine: Is Three Hours Enough Time to Marinate

Is Every New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc Under $25 the Same Wine With a Different Label

South African Pinotage: Is it Better or Worse than Apartheid

Case Study: Slurping or Gargling, Which More Effectively Annoys Fellow Judges at Wine Competitions

Blind Tasting: Party Trick or Desperate Cry for Attention

Variety or Varietal: The Predictability of Lower I.Q. in People Who Use Varietal as a Noun

Swartland: Where Swart Comes From

When Austrian Wines Were Considered the Best in the World: What a Day That Was

Is a Penis Effective for Bâttonage. No, I’m Just Happy to See You


Mel Knox said...

Ron, you're finally getting down to my level. Tres funny.

Unknown said...

I laughed, and laughed.
But - hey - wine dogs are a serious thing. Mine makes better wine than I do.....

Baldwine1 said...

Swartland: Where Swart Comes From.. Thats the one that got me

gbgolfer71 said...

There had to have been one about cat pee, but I'm not clever enough to come up with it.

Great reading as always.

Charlie Olken said...

Things I Think About

--When was the last time that the Hosemaster moved a hose?

--If taste buds were in our nipples, who would be the supertasters then? Would it be easier to identify them? How would the MW program change?

--Where is Samantha Duggan?

--Do sexually suggestive wine labels affect the morals of teen-agers who buy wine online?

--Whatever happened to Trump Airlines?

--If chickens were a geography contest, would my favorite part be Thailand, Brest or Liege?

--Is that a comb in your pocket?

David Larsen said...

Watch out Ron, looks like Charlie is after your job.

Unknown said...

Trending all over Facebook, in case you care. :)

Ron Washam, HMW said...

Hey Gang,

Charlie is welcome to my job. I seem to be the only person on the planet who likes my job as Wine Business Fool, so if Charlie wants it, he can have it.

I'm sure I'm not really trending on FaceBook, but if I am, well, goody. I'm not on FaceBook. I'm only barely on Blogger. But any new readers are welcome. I think I'm up to 14 readers now. So that's ten more than Palate Press!

Thanks to everyone who has the guts to be a Common Tater.

Samantha Dugan said...

Sir Charles,
As I told you and my Beloved Ron years ago, I'm always here... kind of like poo on your shoe, you're stuck with me.

Always here reading, admiring, laughing... missing you all.

You also forgot, it's double D's not double G's.
Love you both, always.
Samantha Dugan

Tom In Real Life said...

Most of these topics have one-word answers, and I've never heard a somm reply to any question in under an hour.

Joel said...

No longer Dissertations--just Research Papers (RP)
So much less intimidating --
Oh for an RP on the Sexual proclivity of Sauvignon!

Ron Washam, HMW said...

Sexual proclivity in Sauvignon? Seems to me like Sauvignon is mostly shooting Blancs.