Wine Blogs Are the Attention-Barking of Lonely Poodles
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
What's the HoseMaster Drinking?
Cep 2007 Pinot Noir Sonoma Coast
Here's the finest Pinot Noir in California for $25 or less. Well, that's not much of a recommendation when I think about it. What's the competition at that price point? It's like saying, "Here's the best steak dinner for under $20." So forget I said that. This is delicious, satisfying, gorgeous Pinot Noir. So don't ask what I peayed for it. It's produced by a prestigious Sonoma Coast winery that, for some bizarre marketing reason, doesn't want its name associated with Cep. So I've chosen to peay attention to their request and not divulge the winery. I have certainly had far more expensive Pinot Noirs that weren't this good. You don't always get what you peay for. "Cep" is French for root vine, which explains the label, which otherwise could be misconstrued as a divining rod. Which, I guess is what a vine root is, so maybe that's not misconstruing at all. The aroma is very feminine (by which I mean it would never agree to let me take it home unless I peayed for it), filled with red fruits, which, if you're going to hound me about it, reminded me of huckleberry. There's plenty of spicy notes, and just a tiny bit of earthiness, more mushroom than anything. But it completely overdelivers on the palate. It's just gorgeous wine, bright with acidity, not particularly tannic, not at all ponderous or overextracted; it delivers the delicacy and beauty of Pinot Noir in a beguilingly complex way. I still can't get over the price for a Pinot Noir of this quality.
The HoseMaster Score 702,006 Points Disclaimer: Let me make it perfectly clear. I did not have sex with that woman.
After 19 years as a Sommelier in Los Angeles, twice named Sommelier of the Year by the Southern California Restaurant Writers' Association, I moved to Sonoma County to explore the other aspects of the wine business. I've spent, OK wasted, 35 years learning about and teaching about and swallowing wine. I am also a judge at the Sonoma Harvest Fair, San Francisco Chronicle Wine Competition and the San Francisco International Wine Competition--so I can spit like a rabid llama. I know more about wine than David Sedaris and I'm funnier than James Laube. Stay tuned for an informed but jaded view of everything wine and everything else.
I'm living proof that alcohol kills brain cells.
What the Critics Are Saying About HoseMaster of Wine
"If you want a great hoot and howl moment or two...go read the HoseMaster's year-end reflections...that guy is without a doubt the funniest SOB in the blog-world...and thank him for having the brains and balls to target his laser of laughter on anybody...HoseMaster for President...HoseMaster for Blogger of the Year...although he would be the first to say the bar is so damn low for that award, he should win it every year..." --Robert Parker
"No one is immune from California sommelier and wine judge Ron Washam's skewering. He polishes that skewer with boundless enthusiasm and acuity."
"Washam uses his own blog, HoseMaster of Wine, to skewer the industry in general and wine blogs in particular. If your mouse scoots to your browser's close box while reading a wine blog, Washam may be the blogger for you."
--San Francisco Chronicle
"...that guy Hosemaster has real talent...if you ask me sign him up for Comedy Central...he's the funniest guy since Adam Carolla's hilarious book...IN 50 YEARS WE WILL ALL BE CHICKS..."
"Ron Washam, former sommelier, is easily the most bitingly funny blogger/wine writer that we have ever come across. He is an equal opportunity crusader who pillories big wineries and amateur bloggers alike, as well as everything and everyone in between...One needs a sense of humor and a tolerance for earthiness to enjoy reading The Hosemaster. We must have both because this guy deserves a wider audience, in our humble opinion." --Connoisseurs' Guide to California Wine
"In my opinion, and that of many others, his blog is one of the best. And in terms of satirical or parodic wine blogs, it has no peer. Ron’s alert eye catches every pretense and skewers it with laugh out loud mercilessness."
"This site should carry a warning label. It's sort of a Dave Barry/George Carlin approach to wine. The Hosemaster (real name Ron Washam) skewers fellow bloggers and industry savants with glee, while offering hilarious wine guides such as his Honest Guide to Grapes..."
--Paul Gregutt, Seattle Times
"Washam is a skilled wine judge (I have judged with him) who is willing to judge wine double blind, in public. To my knowledge, Parker does not do this and never has. So Ron's credentials are in place, and so is his sense of the absurd."
--Dan Berger, VintageExperiences
"...I consider Ron a very talented writer and I’ve long been an admirer of his scathing wit..."
"And if any free sites think they can conquer the world, there’s always the Hosemaster to take ‘em down a notch."
--Tyler Colman "Dr. Vino"
"Those of you who know Ron either love or hate him, because he throws jabs like a punch drunk boxer, and we’re all in the firing line. He’ll throw them if he hates you, and he’ll throw them if he loves you. He’s a satirist of exceptional quality."
--Jo Diaz "Juicy Tales by Jo Diaz"
"I must say you are an idiot. I've never liked you. I have no idea why people find you funny."