"Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine."--Fran Lebowitz
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
What's the HoseMaster Drinking?
Benovia 2006 Pinot Noir Savoy Vineyard Anderson Valley
Regular readers, and even those with constipation, will recall that I have a fondness for the Pinot Noirs from Benovia, a relative newcomer in the Russian River Valley. I don't recall the origin of the name "Benovia," though the fact that it's an anagram for "A Bovine" leads me to believe it's got something to do with cows, which is udder nonsense. Though for awhile I thought Benovia was the prescription drug Sally Field was taking for her calcium deficiency. Turns out that's Crow. Doesn't matter. Benovia, with Mike Sullivan at the helm, is producing compelling wine. He went outside of Sonoma for this beauty, all the way to Philo and the famous Savoy Vineyard, a vineyard whose grapes don't come cheap. They cost a lot of Philo dough. The appeal of the Anderson Valley Pinot Noirs is their complexity and delicacy. In the 2006, it's blackberries and orange peel with an undertone of earthiness and minerality. I like a Pinot Noir that's like this--the prettiest girl in the room, but completely in charge. That says more about me than the wine, I guess, but if you're able to spend $55 on wine these days, here's a winery worth exploring.
Disclaimer: I am not now, and have never been, a member of the Communist Party. I have no interest in Benovia Winery, but if I did I wouldn't tell you anyway.
Talk is cheap, my friend. You've been threatening to start your own blog for months now. Go ahead, put me, Heimoff, Wark, and all the other blogmeisters to shame.
I thought I might as well start chiming in about wines so that maybe I start getting some free samples. Wineries so desperate they send bloggers wine deserve consideration, or the death penalty, one or the other.
See you in Livermore. Watch out Steven Mirassou, I've got a blog and I'm not afraid to use it!
Looking forward to our trip out to Livermore. I expect to learn more about blogging from you.
My tastes in blogging have changed from the time I thought about doing one. Still planning on it, but it will be less endless rounds of opinion and much higher in content.
I will tell you the whole sad story of the web site update that never happened.
Sounds like a domestic Pinot that I would even like, the name is unfortunate...totally thought, "Is that the stuff The Flying Nun takes for her bones?" but sounds like a wine I should seek out. That may sound too much like a, "Great post" comment but....
Have fun in Livermore you two, would love to be a fly on the wall for that little trip!
A blog from you would be an instant must read (I love to read about must). You have instant credibility from your years in publishing, and credibility is the scarcest commodity in the blogosphere. Of course, what that brings is a parade of not-so-credible bloggers flooding your blog with comments so that some of your credibility might rub off on them. Sort of like cat fur.
I'm curious about how your taste in blogging has changed over the past few months. You're kind enough to comment here, and I am certainly an acquired taste. I am drawn to powerful "voices" in the wine blog world, but have found only a few. It's an odd mix out there, but, considering it reflects the human race, that's not much of a surprise. There are many bloggers who have passion but little talent. There are some with obvious talent but scant knowledge or experience. There are but a few with perseverance.
I'll say this, none of this would have been worth it but for the surprising friendships I've gained, including yours, but also Samantha's, Tom's, Arthur's, Anon 1's, Diane's, and a few more I hope to cultivate. That's been the only joy. Well, that and deflating a bunch of wine windbags. Though I've also had some dreadful experiences with a few self-serving douchebags as well (you know who you are, if you're still here reading now and then--assholes). But it's way more work than I expected, so when you say "content driven," my friend, I know what you're in for. Doing a Heimoff sort of blog would be easy for you--he trots out an opinion and waits for the attention freaks to chime in. But he does attract an articulate crowd, though all you have to do to get a lot of comments is mention Parker's demise, the 100 point scale, corks versus screwtops, or cult wines and you'll get tons of comments.
Content driven blogs, which mine is in a satirical sense not an informational sense, are tough. And discouraging. I constantly second guess myself about what direction to take HoseMaster, and, I think, it shows. I have no idea what I'm doing. And no idea why. So I'm the perfect wine blogger.
Livermore will be fun, I'm sure. I'm looking forward to tasting with you, meeting you, and talking wine and blogs. If only Samantha could join us!
Nice review for Benovia. The name of the winery is a combination of the owners' father's names: Ben Dewane and Novian Anderson. They chose it to honor their fathers, who had a lot of influence on their success.
I actually knew that, but, hey, that's why they have marketing guys. I admire the wines and appreciate elegance when I taste it, but, man, tasting notes are the dullest thing on the Internet except for Facebook.
Thanks for joining in.
How come I'm not on your blogroll? Don't answer that. I already know.
For while I think I did have you on the blogroll, honestly can't remember. But a while ago I went through the list to make sure everyone was active. It might have been around the time you took your hiatus and I may have dropped you. But, you've been added (back?).
After 19 years as a Sommelier in Los Angeles, twice named Sommelier of the Year by the Southern California Restaurant Writers' Association, I moved to Sonoma County to explore the other aspects of the wine business. I've spent, OK wasted, 35 years learning about and teaching about and swallowing wine. I am also a judge at the Sonoma Harvest Fair, San Francisco Chronicle Wine Competition and the San Francisco International Wine Competition--so I can spit like a rabid llama. I know more about wine than David Sedaris and I'm funnier than James Laube. Stay tuned for an informed but jaded view of everything wine and everything else.
What the Critics Are Saying About HoseMaster of Wine
"The HoseMaster is the funniest satirist writing about wine in the world today."
--Karen MacNeil
"But you're really good at what you do. You're not clumsy. You're as sharp and 'meta' as the Onion, as foul as the old National Lampoon at its well-remembered best, you make literary references that a smart guy makes. You're a nice slasher who always remembers to take out his recycling and waters his neighbor's plants--though they'd rather you didn't to it while they're having sex--and if you disembowel the occasional cat, well that cat was an asshole and everyone knew it."
--Terry Theise
"If you want a great hoot and howl moment or two...go read the HoseMaster's year-end reflections...that guy is without a doubt the funniest SOB in the blog-world...and thank him for having the brains and balls to target his laser of laughter on anybody...HoseMaster for President...HoseMaster for Blogger of the Year...although he would be the first to say the bar is so damn low for that award, he should win it every year..." --Robert Parker
"...With sometimes crude analogies and occasional droppings of f-bombs, Washam cleverly uses satire to expose the underbelly of the wine business. It's often hilarious stuff as long as you're not the one being lampooned. Washam takes no prisoners in skewering all that is silly, stupid, frustrating and pretentious about wine, and his favorite targets are other bloggers and writers. No one is immune."
--Linda Murphy in "Vineyard and Winery Management"
"No one is immune from California sommelier and wine judge Ron Washam's skewering. He polishes that skewer with boundless enthusiasm and acuity." --JancisRobinson.com
"How do you introduce Ron Washam, the Hosemaster of Wine? Two things:
First: I’m not sure if there is anyone better at cutting through the confidence trick that is often intrinsic to the business of wine.
Second: in a world where offending people appears to border on the illegal, the Hosemaster piles in. No one is safe."
--Joss Fowler "Vinolent.com"
"As serious as the world of wine is, it does allow time for humor. Each Monday and Thursday, Ron Washam customarily posts a commentary on his needling wine blog HoseMaster of Wine. Washam, a former sommelier and comedy writer – he might say they are closely related – is the most opinionated, humorous and ribald observer in the wine world. His body of work is irreverent and remorseless. It’s almost always satire and parody, though he occasionally drifts into straight commentary, sometimes even with tasting notes. This past year, one of his posts was named the best of the year in the Wine Blog Awards. His success has spawned several imitations, which in their awkwardness show just how difficult satire is."
--Mike Dunne, Sacramento Bee
Read more here: http://www.sacbee.com/2014/01/21/6089630/dunne-on-wine-wine-blogs-and-bloggers.html#storylink=cpy
"Please let this guy write the scripts for Saturday Night Live which has gotten so lame...his newest "wisdom" is worth an Emmy....I wonder if he is the genius behind all those Hitler/Parker,etc. clips? No one else is remotely as funny or as talented.And the wine world sure needs someone to poke fun at all the nonsense and phoney/baloney unsufferable crap out there."
--Robert Parker
"Washam uses his own blog, HoseMaster of Wine, to skewer the industry in general and wine blogs in particular. If your mouse scoots to your browser's close box while reading a wine blog, Washam may be the blogger for you."
--San Francisco Chronicle
"Ron Washam, former sommelier, is easily the most bitingly funny blogger/wine writer that we have ever come across. He is an equal opportunity crusader who pillories big wineries and amateur bloggers alike, as well as everything and everyone in between...One needs a sense of humor and a tolerance for earthiness to enjoy reading The Hosemaster. We must have both because this guy deserves a wider audience, in our humble opinion." --Connoisseurs' Guide to California Wine
"In my opinion, and that of many others, his blog is one of the best. And in terms of satirical or parodic wine blogs, it has no peer. Ron’s alert eye catches every pretense and skewers it with laugh out loud mercilessness."
--Steve Heimoff
"This site should carry a warning label. It's sort of a Dave Barry/George Carlin approach to wine. The Hosemaster (real name Ron Washam) skewers fellow bloggers and industry savants with glee, while offering hilarious wine guides such as his Honest Guide to Grapes..."
--Paul Gregutt, Seattle Times
"Washam is a skilled wine judge (I have judged with him) who is willing to judge wine double blind, in public. To my knowledge, Parker does not do this and never has. So Ron's credentials are in place, and so is his sense of the absurd."
--Dan Berger, VintageExperiences
"...I consider Ron a very talented writer and I’ve long been an admirer of his scathing wit..."
--1WineDude
"And if any free sites think they can conquer the world, there’s always the Hosemaster to take ‘em down a notch."
--Tyler Colman "Dr. Vino"
"Those of you who know Ron either love or hate him, because he throws jabs like a punch drunk boxer, and we’re all in the firing line. He’ll throw them if he hates you, and he’ll throw them if he loves you. He’s a satirist of exceptional quality."
--Jo Diaz "Juicy Tales by Jo Diaz"
"I must say you are an idiot. I've never liked you. I have no idea why people find you funny."
--Reign of Terroir
"Robert (Joseph) was/is funny unlike HoseMaster who wasn't/isn't."
--Will Lyons (WSJ) on Twitter
"Hey Ron, let me ask you: is it true that you pick on girls and old critics because you don't think that they'll come back at you? Because if so, you lose: I'm on your ass now, asshole."
9 comments:
If you are going to start doing wine reviews, I am going to start writing short stories.
By the by, completely agree about the Benovia wines, both Pinot and Chardonnay.
Hey Charlie,
Talk is cheap, my friend. You've been threatening to start your own blog for months now. Go ahead, put me, Heimoff, Wark, and all the other blogmeisters to shame.
I thought I might as well start chiming in about wines so that maybe I start getting some free samples. Wineries so desperate they send bloggers wine deserve consideration, or the death penalty, one or the other.
See you in Livermore. Watch out Steven Mirassou, I've got a blog and I'm not afraid to use it!
Ron--
Looking forward to our trip out to Livermore. I expect to learn more about blogging from you.
My tastes in blogging have changed from the time I thought about doing one. Still planning on it, but it will be less endless rounds of opinion and much higher in content.
I will tell you the whole sad story of the web site update that never happened.
Sounds like a domestic Pinot that I would even like, the name is unfortunate...totally thought, "Is that the stuff The Flying Nun takes for her bones?" but sounds like a wine I should seek out. That may sound too much like a, "Great post" comment but....
Have fun in Livermore you two, would love to be a fly on the wall for that little trip!
Hey Charlie,
A blog from you would be an instant must read (I love to read about must). You have instant credibility from your years in publishing, and credibility is the scarcest commodity in the blogosphere. Of course, what that brings is a parade of not-so-credible bloggers flooding your blog with comments so that some of your credibility might rub off on them. Sort of like cat fur.
I'm curious about how your taste in blogging has changed over the past few months. You're kind enough to comment here, and I am certainly an acquired taste. I am drawn to powerful "voices" in the wine blog world, but have found only a few. It's an odd mix out there, but, considering it reflects the human race, that's not much of a surprise. There are many bloggers who have passion but little talent. There are some with obvious talent but scant knowledge or experience. There are but a few with perseverance.
I'll say this, none of this would have been worth it but for the surprising friendships I've gained, including yours, but also Samantha's, Tom's, Arthur's, Anon 1's, Diane's, and a few more I hope to cultivate. That's been the only joy. Well, that and deflating a bunch of wine windbags. Though I've also had some dreadful experiences with a few self-serving douchebags as well (you know who you are, if you're still here reading now and then--assholes). But it's way more work than I expected, so when you say "content driven," my friend, I know what you're in for. Doing a Heimoff sort of blog would be easy for you--he trots out an opinion and waits for the attention freaks to chime in. But he does attract an articulate crowd, though all you have to do to get a lot of comments is mention Parker's demise, the 100 point scale, corks versus screwtops, or cult wines and you'll get tons of comments.
Content driven blogs, which mine is in a satirical sense not an informational sense, are tough. And discouraging. I constantly second guess myself about what direction to take HoseMaster, and, I think, it shows. I have no idea what I'm doing. And no idea why. So I'm the perfect wine blogger.
Livermore will be fun, I'm sure. I'm looking forward to tasting with you, meeting you, and talking wine and blogs. If only Samantha could join us!
Hey Ron,
Nice review for Benovia. The name of the winery is a combination of the owners' father's names: Ben Dewane and Novian Anderson. They chose it to honor their fathers, who had a lot of influence on their success.
Michael,
I actually knew that, but, hey, that's why they have marketing guys. I admire the wines and appreciate elegance when I taste it, but, man, tasting notes are the dullest thing on the Internet except for Facebook.
Thanks for joining in.
How come I'm not on your blogroll? Don't answer that. I already know.
For while I think I did have you on the blogroll, honestly can't remember. But a while ago I went through the list to make sure everyone was active. It might have been around the time you took your hiatus and I may have dropped you. But, you've been added (back?).
Mike--
You still have time to reconsider that rash action.
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